my game..

2011-05-16T22:53:00.001+08:00

i just feel being fucked up. not in the really-fucked-up kind of way but in the sense that i'm being used. yeah..i don't know why. i just feel it. sorry. i don't feel fine. taiktaiktaiktaik..

reminder

2011-05-12T23:38:00.000+08:00

i'm proud to say that i'm okay! OH BABY IM OKAY! yeahhhhh..despite all those fuck things, i still can survive well and smileeee :) i know i know it's not that easy to forgive and forget but hey, human can change. so do i. i was once a kind of person who is full of hatred. oh ya by the way, there were a lot of things happened before and urgh..what a damn bad past.

to Mohd Noorhalisafiq, thanks for our memories and everything. without you, i might not up to who i am now. i still love you yeah, but as friends. not more, not less. take care dude.

to the BITCH out there, hell yeah I HATE YOU. no matter how nice you are or how good looking you are, i still hate you. reason? you are a girl who does not know the limit of being someone's girlfriend and you never respect me from what i saw from your pictures. pictures don't lie ait? reminder for you bitch: NEVER touch someone's boyfriend, not even a holding-hand kind of touch. oh please..you are just mess yourself with another girl and it's me! nah2..amik la apye ya. i don't care. if you want him, take him. i give him to you. snang crita. no need to hug him whatsoever behind my back la you bitch. one more thing to say. take good care of him as much as i did before. if i heard you hurt him, well..SIAP. cause until now, you haven't fully know who is the real apye.

apye, thanks for all the pains yeah. you surely teach me how to keep myself survive in this situation. and yes, i can prove to you that i can live without you. from you i learn a lot of things. you teach me not to trust people 100%. you teach me to stand firm whenever i have problems. you teach me to not be an egoistic. you teach me to be stronger and yeah..i'm stronger now than what you expect me to be. reminder for you pye; don't you ever ever repeat the same mistakes as you did to me before. it was too much for me to bear. i was in an upside-down world when this fuck thing happened. so please, don't do this to other girl. you don't have the right to torture others life, so do mine. but still, i hate you for some reasons. syiah..i hate you but i don't told you that. why? cause i wanna make things right for both of us. find me whenever you need me. i'll be there to help you as friends.

hope both of you read this..

2011-05-02T22:28:00.001+08:00

FUCK SHIT I MISS YOU! cibai naaaa.

a break up confession

2011-03-12T21:24:00.003+08:00

i feel emptiness in me. my very most important part of me is missing. i've got nowhere to go, no place for me to cry. i need a shoulder to pad my head. yes..i miss you terribly. i guess this might be the worst day i've ever had in my life. maybe this is my fate. perhaps i deserve this so-called disaster. every minute i look my phone and hope there's a text from you. but up until now, there's none. i'm waiting, patiently. waiting for you to be okay. if this is my fault, well yeah..i'm truly sorry. sorry for everything. i'm not meant to be your life partner. definitely not me. i'm sorry for not being the one for you. i didn't ask for all this to happen to us. the moment you said "get off", i got myself numb as i felt the heavy part of me was flowing out from my body. i couldn't help but to regret on everything.

i deactivated my facebook account. sorry, that's the best thing i could think off right now. having an fb account makes me view your profile more often. it hurts me. probably you've hated me now. it's okay, i can accept that. i know i have to be stronger. but every time when i think of this, my tears fail to stop. oh God..help me. i'm a weak human being. guide me to be a much stronger person.

i will never call you 'syg' anymore. no more midnight calls. no more texting and outing. no more fighting. ohh..miss those moment :'( i'm not sure what will be happening next in my life. i just wait and see.

syg..i still loving you. yes..i do. take care of yourself there. hope you will have the best things in your life. i'll pray for your happiness, always. i love you, i really do :'( i don't think i can love someone more than you. take care aite? don't smoke too much per day. pray to your God always. treat your loved one with great care. keyh?

saaaaddddddddd :'(
i'm sorry blog. i don't have anymore place to cry on :'(

2011-02-05T09:35:00.004+08:00

today: 05.02.201

:: it's quite sunny in the morning
:: i'm done washing all my clothes. yay!
:: my eyes keep blinking. that means i'm still ALIVE.
:: my skin is dried. hey, i need a moisturiser.
:: daddy has promised me to buy me a pair of shoes today. but pergh.
:: i'm waiting, hoping that my syg will text me. but he's still asleep. haih.
:: physics, i haven't done revising you yet. so how? SHM please, be nice to me :)
:: basically, i'm over driven by *tut*
:: literally, i'm out of words.
:: mentally, i feel fine and okay.
:: physically, again, my skin is DRYING!

what a short blog huh? as i've said before, i'm out of words.

em..uh?

2011-02-02T01:04:00.001+08:00

it's chinese new year and yeah, happy chinese new year to all my chinese friends (i just wish even though i know they wouldn't read this). i'm glad to be back here in this blog. not just my laziness puts me away from blogging, but also lack of free time.

actually, i'm totally blurred right now. i have lots of things to tell but it's hard to put them in words you know.

aaah..great. it's raining now, right after the world war 3 has just ended. hey..i'm living in an area dominated by chinese people and there were booms, bings and bangs everywhere. fireworks were absolutely beautiful. golden, blue, purple. all colours were there, except white and black la. haha. the funny thing regarding any CNY is my dogs are freaking scared of hearing the booming sounds of fireworks. kibuk and blackie just hide themselves in a shallow space underneath our house. keteui shivers itself and if possible, it wants to stay in the bedroom. tiptoes itself here and there, make a pity face and yeah, follow us anywhere we go. well, what can i say..

okay blog, i have to leave..

2010-09-15T12:18:00.001+08:00

begging

2010-09-15T10:48:00.002+08:00

i should bear in mind that I'll be having tons of tests right after this holiday. perhaps i should bold them in my mind, not just remembering it. chemistry, physics, biology, IDA. a lot huh? yet i still linger around and act cool as if there is nothing big waiting for me. come on Fede. be sensible. tests will shoot you nonstop next week.

daddy, mummy..can i go out? can i chill out with my friends before they go? please. this is the only chance i get to meet them. i'm not going to do something stupid. just give your little daughter a slight freedom to enjoy her youth.

oh.

2010-09-14T00:01:00.003+08:00

PERIOD. ah..'great'.

2010-09-04T07:53:00.002+08:00

i have a big big feelings that my blog is just a crap. a crap yeah. i talked crap, i typed crap. everything is a crap. damn. thinking of deleting this page but um..sayang. i fall in love with my blog ba. you know something like 'jatuh cinta' kan? hahah..

2010-09-04T07:51:00.003+08:00

wanna know something? i think my english nowadays is gettin worse than before. WTF.

2010-09-01T20:22:00.002+08:00

i feel boring. syiah! today's IDA class is full of presentation. instead of pretending to listen to their presentation, i do my blog. so fuck up man.

30 minutes..
sorry dude, i was stucked watching real paranormal video with my friends. that stupid video has spooked me. there came a part where the door was suddenly slammed all by itself. i screamed! oh my..i screamed again like when i watched the descent 2 last night.

oh ya..haven't told you guys about yesterday. i loveeeeeeeee it! :) i drove manual out to big kuching city! *proud2* hey..say congratz to me la. haha.. well, even though i passed my driving yesterday but damn..it was awful. i almost hit two cars and i forgot to switch on my light. cibai ba. like i drove without light from spring to BDC ba last night. dh la we ran into a police car. can you imagine, 7 people in a kancil??????????? me driving, gy sat next to me. sam, vic, lina, pame and fatin sat behind. i had 6 lives depending on me, so i drove a bit slow and careful. of course, i have my vision problems during nights. thanks to God, we all arrived at desa ilmu safe and sound :) did i mentioned that spring had a big bang merdeka sale yesterday? vinci. padini. bodyglove. oh my! my eyes were moving left and right looking for nice stuff. wedges! i want one pair for raya. shirts, tee's and singlets. they were all cheap. cut my hand if you think yesterday's sales were still expensive. hey! up to 70% ba. sayang..MNG got no sale. they still selling the old stock. perhaps one day MNG will be having a stock clearance. have to be super alert for that. i just bought an Elianto eye liner. as usual, i bought it for a discount. my silky girl eyeliner is so fucking big as big as a marker pen. i don't wanna ruin my face for that kind of stuff.

IDA oh IDA..ku sungguh tidak menyukaimu. wanna go back!

september love

2010-09-01T20:07:00.002+08:00

helooooooo September :)

new month huh? time flies so fast. oh ya..i'm in IDA class now. I FEEL SO BAD having the annoying ROY next to me. oo crap! haha.. so cibs ba. keyh2..chow. x selesa to blog now.

2010-08-28T23:50:00.002+08:00

it's good to be back home. only one shitty thing that annoys me a lot, i don't touch my books when i'm home. omaga..! tv and facebook are GREAT in tempting me. *sigh* 3 tests and 2 quizzes next week. see? it's gonna be a damn hell week for me. hope i can do well.

oh games..stop pulling me over to you. you've sucked me. oh dear syg..pray for me :) lets have no fight next week.

raya is coming soon. wish i can go out often. wanna hang out with JUNEY da jobo and mumu :) and syg too. oh..i love them. mami and dadi..let me go out with them please. i'm dying for a hang out.

a confession.

2010-08-28T22:58:00.003+08:00

i have something to tell you.

i love you. i really do. i do hate the fact that we will not be together forever. so bad as i couldn't live without you. only God knows how i feel about this. it's terrible. i feel dreadful. why am i having this kind of fate? i just wanna be with you. ONLY YOU. but alas, our religion won't let us. i'm so sorry for all these. my heart bleeds every time i think of it. so bad isn't it? but somehow, i did not take even a slight effort to forget about you. cause i love you.

i'll be leaving you soon syg. when? i don't know. only time will tell. one thing for sure, i'll love you now and always. do not worry about me. i can take care of myself later. pray for me. i'll pray for you too. hope you'll find a girl better than me. make sure she's a soleh muslim.

hope she'll be a good wife to you and a good mother to your children.

p/s: i love you.

2010-08-28T00:42:00.000+08:00

it's so bad that i miss you :(

2010-07-07T18:17:00.000+08:00

Fede is listening to Anna Molly by Incubus

boringness

2010-07-07T17:07:00.003+08:00

broadband sucksssss!! arghhh!! it feels like a decade loading A PAGE only. uhhh! fuck2. *sorry if i curse a lot nowadays. blame pame da pigpau for that* hahaha..

i'm all alone. my roomates went for kesatria meeting. i don't wanna go because former NS students are not compulsory to attend any KK for this first sem. so yay! :) see? got privilege ba being part of NS. *proud2*

so far my class is quite good. the syllabus are more likely to spm but umph..kinda hard though. everything is on your own you know. you search the references yourself and make your own notes. the lecturers just teach. they give quizzes, tests and assignment. that's it. one fundamental element that's totally crucial for us is to be independent. work hard to get the highest CGPA, 3.5 pointer and above. i want that 3.5 pointer so that i'll be qualified for Anugerah Dekan. wohoo!

................................................................................

2010-07-05T21:22:00.003+08:00

my fb is damn slow la liao. uhhhh..wadafuck! my fb cannot open ba. why oh why? you tube and blogger went so fast ba. blame the broadband? ahaa..don't know. fyi, i'm in utim now :) it has been more than a week since i was here. not bad though. the food here is soooooooooo cheapppppp!! like u can buy a fast food for rm1.80. see????? haha.. that's all for now. no mood for blog nowadays.

2010-07-02T22:34:00.000+08:00

I ♥ UiTM

hey..what's up..

2010-06-19T21:50:00.002+08:00

it has been two days since my syg left Kuching. so hard to bear the news that he's now away..awayyyyyyyyy to Mukah. sob2.. i miss him. dang! i miss him badly :'( i cry a lot. whenever i feel lonely, my tears will running itself on my cheek spontaneously. i'm not asking for a cry. well, it's just did. now he's fine there. still in the hotel with his dad. seems to syg's view, the mukah town isn't bad at all. still have KFC and such. hehee.. kfc jwak dcrik syg ya. a BIGBIGBIG relief for me :) yeah..finally my syg is now there safe and sound. starts from tomorrow he'll begin a freshly new life being a poli student. chaiyok syg! i know you can do well :) hate long-distance relationship. SUPER HATE! huhuuuu.. i miss every single thing about syg. his ass, his jokes, his pouting lips..:'( can't stand this feeling. STOP2! uhh!

2010-06-18T13:17:00.001+08:00

♥ 17 june 2010 ♥

lessons from life, by 90 year-old Regina Brett

2010-06-16T12:06:00.000+08:00

Life isn’t fair, but it’s still good.
When in doubt, just take the next small step.
Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.
Your job won’t take care of you when you are sick. Your friends and parents will. Stay in touch!
Pay off your credit cards every month.
You don’t have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.
Cry with someone. It’s more healing than crying alone.
It’s OK to get angry with God. He can take it.
Save for retirement starting with your first paycheck.
When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.
Make peace with your past so it won’t screw up the present.
It’s OK to let your children see you cry.
Don’t compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.
If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn’t be in it.
Everything can change in the blink of an eye. But don’t worry; God never blinks.
Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.
Get rid of anything that isn’t useful, beautiful or joyful.
Whatever doesn’t kill you really does make you stronger.
It’s never too late to have a happy childhood. But the second one is up to you and no one else.
When it comes to going after what you love in life, don’t take no for an answer.
Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie. Don’t save it for a special occasion. Today is special.
Over-prepare, then go with the flow.
Be eccentric now. Don’t wait for old age to wear purple.
The most important sex organ is the brain.
No one is in charge of your happiness but you.
Frame every so-called disaster with these words ‘In five years, will this matter?’
Always choose life.
Forgive everyone everything.
What other people think of you is none of your business.
Time heals almost everything. Give time time.
However good or bad a situation is, it will change.
Don’t take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
Believe in miracles.
God loves you because of who God is, not because of anything you did or didn’t do.
Don’t audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.
Growing old beats the alternative — dying young.
Your children get only one childhood.
All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.
Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.
If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else’s, we’d grab ours back.
Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.
The best is yet to come.
No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.
Yield.
Life isn’t tied with a bow, but it’s still a gift.

2010-06-15T23:03:00.002+08:00

2 more days to go before syg's departure. sob2.. :(( he's having dinner at neyt's house now. blit gk aju! mk video kol tok. huhuuuu..

2010-06-15T15:25:00.002+08:00

HOTHOTHOT. so hot man! this scorching heat keeps me sweating all day. sam asked me to go for a swim but cey..main2 jak duhal. but gosh. i'm dying for a bath now. i mean, a bath in a pool or whatsoever. not in a shower of course. baan gong's waterfall would be nice :) or at my kampong's river? nahhh.. my body need a cold..cold water to be splashed onto me. oh God..

my bro is craving for a burger. i'm gonna make it two, another one for me :)
OUT.

2010-06-14T01:09:00.000+08:00

2010-06-13T22:55:00.001+08:00

is listening to sarawak.fm, 88.90.
Liars Among Friends live
perey jak keja ku tok..
hahahahah!!
can't stop perey-ing

2010-06-13T22:08:00.002+08:00

soon yahhhh! UiTM baby :)

2010-06-13T21:10:00.001+08:00

is back :)

fuckness

2010-06-11T22:41:00.007+08:00

i loikeeeeee my new skin =)

aaa..today is full of fuckness, boredness, damness and (everything that ends with 'ness'). boredness and damness? haha.. lantak ajak la. guys..i hate medical check up. really. SUPER hate it. why? the x-ray just messing with me. i've got nausea right after i entered the x-ray room. bad2 nausea. oh fuck off! and another shit thing was i had to strip off my shirt and bra. the x-ray boy gave me BIG white shirt to put on. XXXXL in size and it's white okaih? like uu-i-can-see-ur-nipples-from-here. shit! the shirt has to be tied at the back. myyy..i'm awful in this kind of thingy. well, this was my first time experience. don't even try to blame me for my dumb act. haha.. x-ray gave me a fucking damn though. i promise not go for an x-ray anymore. ENOUGH. sorry for i cursed a lot. it's just that i hate x-ray so much. fuck it!

my printed image skeletons. funny.

actually i went to the hospital this very early morning. out of my expectation, i met my babai there. ou2..babai is a calling for grandfather in bidayuh..

me:: babai..what makes you up to here?
babai:: i don't feel well. my chest is in pain since last night.
me:: goshhh..why don't you go here last night?
babai:: there wasn't anyone who wants to send me. another harap the other. bad2. huhuu..
me::it's okay. i'll keep myself to you now babai =)

check2..my medical check up appointment was on the afternoon. luckily i was there to help babai. so yeah..i drove his wheel chair to room 5, room 9 and back to room 5. babai, you're so damn heavy. even the wheel chair was a bit out of control. haha.. tup3..it was done. babai was sent back to kampung. my uncle drove the car.

i went back to my mom's kampung for a while. look2 =)

kebin cute! rawr~! haha.. my anak buah lerrrr..

enough for today. pretty tired now. i'm going back to kampung tomorrow morning. back on sunday. so blog..don't miss my post ya. -_^

2010-06-11T00:27:00.002+08:00

ahh..i'm done with skype. i laughed like 'hihihiii' watching syg's funny face and of course his pouting lips. how malnourished i am now =) but damn syg hate eenie meenie. damn! he hate my fav song? aaa..shit you. haha.. gotta go now my deary blog. have to wake up early for my medical check up.
nyte peeps!

white creature

2010-06-10T23:22:00.005+08:00

wanna know something? TEBOOL a.k.a BULAT is sitting at the back of my lappy now. don't have any idea who he/she/it is????? ouuu..i bet you know..

awwww..!!! isn't it adorable? ♥ awh! so very the geramness. arrr!
anyway, gotta go. i have a date with my man in skpye. video call baby! yeah!

2010-06-10T22:14:00.001+08:00

i'm watching Ghost Lab now. scary though but nahhh..why would i scare? they won't tickling my toe tonight. haha..

2010-06-10T00:23:00.001+08:00

i now have eenie meenie on my phone =)

rusty english

2010-06-09T22:56:00.002+08:00

did i use the same word all over again in my previous post???? like 'hoping', 'make' and blah3. aye! i'm dumbed! my English is getting dumber! oh tidakkkkk!

♥ 09.06.2010

2010-06-09T22:03:00.002+08:00

today is a MOVIE DAY! =) i went movie-ing with my bro, hoping to watch Shrek at 12 pm but it turned out to be =( shrek will be played at 3 pm and i don't wanna spend for more than 3 hours waiting for the showtime. so we watched Marmaduke instead. comment? ouh..it's a great movie. with cute dogs playing around, talking as if they are humans, peeing everywhere, falling in love. oh my..it's so CUTE! everything is CUTE.

you guys have to see this movie, like seriously.

then i went to meet syg with her mom and apiz, his younger brother. so nice to see her mom. we chat a lot. talk blablabla.. syg was there, busy picking his stuff for his poli-wannabe life. huhu.. boxers, trousers and such. so glad that i was there, helped him a bit in picking stuff. i spent only one hour plus with him and his family, but sure it was more than enough to make me smile the whole day =) i held his hand firmly. i ran my fingers beneath his hand. so gentle..smooth..and relaxing. a sign of me missing him badly. hopefully syg knows about it. huuuu.. i hate the fact that we will be hundreds of miles away from each other. he'll be up there in mukah and i stay here..for the sake of our study. fuck isn't it? oh God, can i skip this part? it makes me teary now :'(

aunty a.k.a mak apye, thanks a lot ya for buying my bro a small hot wheel toy car =) my bro was indeed pleased by the gift. sure he was on top of the world, owned a toy car that can change colour when being put into a refrigerator. 'sakai' people here called that. haha.. hope i can give her something one day. a food cooked by me perhaps? i don't know. i owe that woman a lot. she bought me an Elle sweater, foot my cake's bill, bought a toy car for my bro. i think it's time to pay her back. wait ya aunty =)

i met toman, mamat and a few girls surround them. might be their scandal i guess. haha.. met mozarrie and khai too. and GG!! i met her! my RnB gang! hahaha.. she was there with her man and psst2 about me. *sempat poret GG lok*

frankly, i'm sooooo pleased and overjoyed for today. ♥

love

2010-06-08T22:56:00.002+08:00

read this..it's extremely crucial =)
............................................................................................................................................................

Let’s begin with a oh-so-creative question: What is that fickle, frivolous emotion we call Love?

According to dictionary.com, it represents “a profoundly tender, passionate affection”; to have “a strong liking for, to take great pleasure in”; and “to need or require, to benefit greatly from”. This pretty much sums it up then, doesn’t it? The whole, ‘What-Is-Love?’ deal. There you have it.

But the problem with that definition is it just doesn’t tell you about the bare necessities of Love. The little tiny things that are so easy to overlook but, most often, are the most necessary part of the mixture. Nor does it illustrate Love’s many faces — it says nothing about what Love looks like, feels like, tastes like, sounds like — all these details that are too awkward and raw to put in the given definition of Love are, alas, the very greatest clues we can gather to understanding the emotion.

Book definitions won’t give you the meaning of the fluffy feelings, the swooping of your stomach, the electric sparks between skins. It just doesn’t get put down in print, for whatever reason. Is it because no one can truly figure out what the feelings mean enough to write them down (assuming they have one specific description, that is)? I suppose that’s why romance novels exist. To tread carefully into the realm of Love’s rawness and delve into what it could possibly

Even more important than that, what this definition of Love lacks is what kinds of Love exist. The definition of Love should be put into definitive categories. Friendship, romantic, sibling, or simply just pure sexual desire (for that is a case of Love, isn’t it? It fits two of the three above definitions) — and all the other bullet points beneath Love’s ominous title. They are so complex, so intricate, that all the human mind can’t even begin to comprehend such convolution.

And with all these types of Love, how are you ever supposed to know which one you’re in? What exactly separates them into categories, versus just being one huge jumbled mess of bodies and emotions and misty mornings spent thinking about him? Where does each begin and where does each end? Or do they overlap, always and forever densely connected, a web of one Love interwoven closely with the next?

It’s not so hard to say, “I really like someone.” Not hard at all. Because every second of every day, we “really like” a lot of people. The problem of that statement is how misinterpreted it is. “Like” (a word meaning to hold some sort of fondness for) is so often blown wildly out of proportion and understood as “I’m madly in love with you, marry me now.” Sorry, Romeo, that’s not what Juliet was trying to say. She just thinks you’re an okay guy. Doesn’t that thought just break your heart? What a cruel misconception that is.

Fondness leads into romantic attraction sometimes, right? But if you just genuinely like someone — just like them — then how can they differentiate between those feelings and the fuzzy, gooey warmth of the zealous adoration that comes with Love?

And then, does simply liking someone every truly blend so neatly with falling in Love? Do you actually fall in love… or do you dive? Do you stick your big toe in for a tester, and then, after determining that it is the comfortable temperature, wade carefully, slowly into the shallow end? Or perhaps it all just starts to fade together, the ends blurring, until finally all you can deduce is that yes, you love her, and she’s all you can think about and all you want, and nothing — nothing

And once you’ve fallen in, is it possible to fall out? Or would it be more like crawling? Running? Quietly inching away, slipping past all the security cameras until you’re past the defenses and free and not caring about whoever you hurt in the process? And if you were to do all this just to get out of it, are you to assume that you never really were in Love at all?

Can you see the specific moment you fell in Love, like you can on a movie screen? Does it become apparent in one single instance? Somehow, I don’t think so: Love seems more like the type that would build slowly and then before you know it you’re already in, pushed under the surface, flailing your limbs trying to get out until you realize that it’s not so bad after all. Love, that is.

It’s scary, at first, being so vulnerable so suddenly. It’s confusing and hard to cope with, sometimes. But if Love is so frightening and so bewildering, then why bother with it? Why take the time out of your busy day to involve yourself with something that just boggles you?

It’s because — and they never mentioned this in the definition either — Love doesn’t just mean some sort of powerful attraction, some strong longing and affection. It’s more of a promise. It’s more of a trust thing. Not necessarily between you and another person, but trust between you and yourself. If you’re going to Love someone — if you’re going to commit your heart to any given person — you have to trust yourself enough to know that what you’re doing is right. There has to be some sort of internal confidence there. If there’s not, then Love is that useless pain, that torturous confusion that everyone complains about. But if there is some sort of personal faith, then it’s possible to see past the confusion and the haze and the blank stares and the throats lost for words and into something much, much better.

And it’s possible, I suppose, to take the given definition of Love and color over it until, finally, you have your own definition, and it’s a beautiful, wonderful thing.

Maybe the reason the dictionary definition of Love is so vague and leaves so many things out is because Love isn’t supposed to be understood. Maybe it just is, and we should just accept it for that. We can either take it or leave it, regardless of whatever kind it tosses our way. Maybe it gives us the choice. Maybe it doesn’t. I don’t know.

All I know is that Love is all just one big confusing, redundant statement over and over again. And if I said that it was all worth it in the end, then that would be redundant too. But redundancy doesn’t stop it from being the truth.

tumblr sux

2010-06-08T13:31:00.003+08:00

haha.. stupid tumblr. hate to admit this but i've got a tumblr account. yeap! tumblr is just for those who love to post things such pics and quotes. nahhhh! why would you have your own tumblr if you use it to post stuff like that? there's no originality in it. keep on reblog and reblog and reblog. don't cha think that is an act of plagiarism? do blog guys. make it out of ur own. don't post pretty pics or whatsoever ONLY. do have a few writings too. write us what u have. so..so..soo pathetic isn't it? it's true that i post a few pics in this blog. but it's ONLY A FEW. not that much. not like some people in tumblr (sendiri tauk la). sorry if some of you 'terasa'. this my blog ba. i can post whatever opinion i have right?

i'm gonna delete my tumblr account. say toodles to tumblr =)

gai daaa

2010-06-08T00:51:00.002+08:00

"I hate those couples on facebook that love to post things like 'i love him/her so much, you're my everything' as their status and like their EVERY status"

haha..so gai isn't it? luckily me and my syg are not that gai, posting status like that. what can i say more. it's euh!

2010-06-07T21:58:00.002+08:00

When I say "I love you",
it's not because I want you or because I can't have you.
It has nothing to do with me.
I love what you are, what you do, how you try.
I've seen your kindness and your strength.
I've seen the best and the worst of you.
And I understand with perfect clarity what and who you are!

2010-06-07T21:52:00.000+08:00

L.A.M.O.

2010-06-07T21:29:00.003+08:00

hahahahah!! LAMO is the word for today. i'm actually kinda bored here. nothing to do (need to take a shower act. haha..) mls baaaaa.. so sad i couldn't make a hang out with my man tomorrow. the distinctive reason: i have to babysit my lil' bro. oh my! mom..enough of babysitting please. i really need a hang out now. so LAMO staying at home, doing the same thing everyday. gue stressss!! uhhh..wish my parent could understand that.

i've got my license already. can't wait to stick up some 'P' stickers on da car mirror. haha.. you know, there are few people who are soooooo exaggerating of getting a driving license. took pictures of yourself driving, upload in on facebook, then let people notice ur capability of driving. urh! stupid. got license pn mok kamboh wak. SAKAI. hahaha! for me, driving license is not everything. it's just a piece of card showing that you can drive legally. the uppermost thing is as long as you can pull the car to a halt, it's enough. thanks to syg btw for getting me bravely on the wheel. =)

I DRIVE FAST..really. buckle up and i'm ready to press the oil paddle. vroom2!!
haha..

GUY..read this.

2010-06-07T21:23:00.002+08:00

#Don’t care if you have a boyfriend or girlfriend right now. I don’t care if you are a guy or a woman or Michael Jackson. Just read this, it will make a difference. If only everyone could see this and understand it.#

**************************

*********************************************************

When she stares at your mouth
Kiss her

When she pushes you or hits you like a dummie cause she thinks shes
stronger than you
Grab her and dont let go

When she starts cursing at you trying to act all tough
Kiss her and tell her you love her

When she’s quiet
Ask her whats wrong

When she ignores you
Give her your attention

When she pulls away
Pull her back

When you see her at her worst
Tell her she’s beautiful

When you see her start crying
Just hold her and don’t say a word

When you see her walking
Sneak up and hug her waist from behind

When she’s scared
Protect her

When she steals your favorite hoodie
Let her keep it and sleep with it for a night

When she teases you
Tease her back and make her laugh

When she doesn’t answer for a long time
reassure her that everything is okay

When she looks at you with doubt
Back yourself up

When she says that she loves you
she really does more than you can understand

When she grabs at your hands
Hold her’s and play with her fingers

When she bumps into you;
bump into her back and make her laugh

When she tells you a secret
keep it safe and untold

When she looks at you in your eyes
dont look away until she does

When she says it’s over
she still wants you to be hers

When she reposts this bulletin
she wants you to read it

- Stay on the phone with her even if she’s not saying anything

- When she’s mad hug her tight and don’t let go

- When she says she’s ok don’t believe it, talk with her because ten years later she’ll remember you

- Call her at 12:00am on her birthday to tell her you love her

-Treat her like she’s all that matters to you

- Stay up all night with her when she’s sick

- Watch her favorite movie with her or her favorite show even if you think it’s stupid

- Give her the world.

- Let her wear your clothes

-When she’s bored and sad, hang out with her

-Let her know she’s important.

- Don’t talk about other girls around her

- Kiss her in the pouring rain

- When she runs up to you crying, the first thing you say is:
“Whose ass am i kicking baby?”

hope syg read this too..

2010-05-26T22:13:00.002+08:00

meeting you was destiny
becoming friends with you was a choice
but falling in love with you..
I HAD NO CONTROL OVER

crap

2010-05-26T22:06:00.003+08:00

helo =) glad to be back. i do have lots of things to talk about but well, my mind won't let me play this lappy. tired of sitting facing this lappy, on-lining facebook and blog, i tried watching television and slept early. I DID! perfectly.

i'm in a kind mood which i called it oh-i'm-not-okay-at-all mood. like always, i had a fight with my guy..huhuuuu...

i miss him =( oh God..

2010-05-20T00:35:00.004+08:00

ggrrhhhhhh!! i want that dress!! hahaa.. i've seen a few long dresses, quite similar to the above pic. but like always, the designed patterns are literally not fit for my tan skin. uh! what a pathetic! wait till i'll find the RIGHT one for me..

2010-05-20T00:25:00.000+08:00

syg

2010-05-18T00:10:00.006+08:00

damn! i miss this man so much =(

people, i had a fight with this guy hours ago. seems like the fault came from me. *sigh* i know, i know. i'm so sorry syg =( i cried the whole day. i felt like a flash of pang as he sent his last text to me, sounded.."don't you ever reply this text and bla3." man! i felt dreadful. i took all the guilty for what i've done to him. so i cried. really. for hours my tears rolled down my cheek. what to do? i wanna text him but NO. i don't even have a slight gut to do that. so yeah! i changed my relationship status in facebook from married to single. well, i wasn't sure what proper thing i should do to ease this fucking thingy. yeah! that caught his attention. as i predicted, he called me and boom! he bombarded me. me diam jak la. i can't say what he has said was wrong. then we had a little phone conversation, i'm sorry and blah3 and tup..we are okay now =) -enuf said-

awww..! look at this picture. he's so cute, isn't he????? but shesshh!! i'm not going to compliment him for his cuteness. NO WAY! haha.. sorry syg. most of the time he'll act like a dumb. farting everywhere, doing his unique pouting lips, telling jokes that he didn't mean to joke at all and lastly, MANJA. what a dumb man though. that's why i love this guy so much mainly because of his dumbness. haha..

i've got lots and lots of things to write but time doesn't allows me to do so. so papaiii =)

reading

2010-05-16T09:44:00.004+08:00

heloooo Sundayyy.. :))

aa..what a great starting day. today is cloudy and cold. there is no hotness for sure. went for a mass this early morning. halleluyah! hhahaa.. anyway, i'm reading this book now.

got to go blog. i have a book waiting for me..

2010-05-16T00:06:00.003+08:00

awwww..!! my new beyb :)

haha..!! i bought it few weeks ago. i didn't craved for this phone before, but well. my mom's budget was quite tight, so i had to let go my dream phone and go for this T707. this phone is not bad at all, looking good in my eyes. 3.2 mp camera is what i wish for. still, i've maintain my fold kind of phone style. syg..i'm not jealous of you anymore for having a new phone coz i've got mine a new one too! and it's obviously prettier than yours :)

busan

2010-05-15T23:27:00.002+08:00

basically, i'm damn BORED right now. feelings for on9 has no more. what i do now is just sit on the couch and read some books. well, a book so far :) can't wait to get myself busy though. UiTM!! hahaha.. i'll be there by the end of june. aiyo..my head got itself twisting around like, hurh? really ba. i feel soooooo stupid staying at home and do the same things everyday, despite keep counting the BIG days to come. hee :D get myself tucked to this lappy also gains nothing but a sense of BORING. facebook nowadays are become much2 lamer than before. people in facebook are also getting more sucks. i mean, most of them now put their anger and blaming others in facebook. helooo..!! anok la depan2. x main la anok tru fb. twitter? later la i check what's up on twitter. tumblr? well, tumblr is just fun when it comes to pics and quotes. but no to blog. so here i am, back to blogger..to where everything has started before.

aaa..24 may.. 9 days to go before my jpj test. what a fuck as i have to wait for a lonnnggggg 1 month before i could go for driving test. so far, i've done good. but not good enough. bukit is still the scariest part of all. i might fail at that. huuu.. to uncle velon, thanks for teaching me how to drive. you sure make my life more wonderful. ouh2..syg too! thanks for teaching me how to drive using your mom's vios. hahaha.. kinda exaggerating as i drive the luxury car.

tuka topik..
i'm thinking of deactivating my facebook. is that a wise thing to do???? splash me with your answers beyb..(i know you won't because there's no one reading my blog) haha.. yesterday was friendster's day, today is facebook's day, tomorrow will be whose days then? anyway, i went to petronas to get my salary. gosh! it's only rm100.22. nah! it's better than nothing right? i'll give to my mom rm40 to fill her car's fuel tank. skali skala sponsor ba :)

hohoo..syg2. lmk na ktk makan ewh. bertaik mata me tggu. hehe.. on9 gk syg oiiii..

2010-04-02T02:13:00.001+08:00

Have a blessed Good Friday people :D

april fool

2010-04-02T00:58:00.010+08:00

i miss u so much blogger. ouhhh..i'm so tired of using fb and tumblr. it's just doesn't make any sense to me. i thought of using tumblr might be better than blogger. but my prediction was a BIG WRONG. i kept on reblog, reblog and reblog somebody else's post. it meannnnsssssssss i'm a copycat. yeah~! i admit it though. tumblr is simply a page for me to upload pictures and quotes, not realising all those were not coming directly from me. uhhhh..what a poser. i know, i know..it's been a longggg while since i neglected blogger. lucky for me i didn't delete my blogger acc. so yeah..i'm back!!

today is april fool. so glad that only a person fooled me today. it's apye :)) he was pleading for an outing with my-fashion-is-so-gai girl and oop! my heart went bleeding. pretty amazing huh that i let him out. "aok2, kua la kau nun".. my tears did its job. it rolled down over my cheek and my heart was immensely broken into tiny particles. and then apye texted me, saying APRIL FOOL! ohhh..wada fcuk u my lil' boy. enough of my april fool's story. keyh..next part. i was staying at home for the whole day and it was oh-so-hot! yeah! my body kept on sweating and sweating as if i was in a sauna. God..plzzzzzzzzz.. make my life colder a bit. i need a cool down. ouh2..me and my sis then went for a shopping. yay! i bought a purse and a handbag for more than 60 bucks. quite cheap isn't it? well, satok is having half price sales right now and lasts untill this sunday. but fcuk! no fitting is allowed. so i bought something which doesn't need fitting. frankly, i just found out that levi's brand is also in satok. uuuu..!! i'm dying for a pair of levi's jeans and all of them was there, right in front of me. price? only rm109.90. where can you got those prices hun???? in KL? nahhhhh..mala Kl jak2 tmpat k shopping. why not kuching?

apye, i'm so envy of you for having a new phone.i want that alsoooooo!

apye plzzzzz..spon ku phone tk :)
xOxO

him..

2009-10-16T22:48:00.003+08:00

lost

2009-08-29T15:17:00.002+08:00

i never attempt to be so arrogant, until yesterday..

yesterday..

yesterday..

yesterday..

uhh..what a fucking day...

i feel lyke a DUMBASS ready to be thrown out to hell.

do I really, a DUMBASS?????????????
so bad it seems..
my phone? i juz keep it silence..

sorrow...despair..confused..underwhelming..out of mind (argghhhh)..
that's who i am right now.

ohhhh..shut da fawk up~!

hurt..
that would best describe me for now..

ohh..what a crappy thing i've talked about
see? i'm crapped when i'm not okayh
i'm not okayh, so shushh..!

28.8.09

2009-08-28T15:09:00.001+08:00

ePi 1st mOnth anNiversAry
^_^

P.L.U.R

2009-08-27T09:16:00.008+08:00

as i surfed through photobucket just now, my eyes were captured by these PLUR thingy..

aaah..now i know what PLUR stands for.. it meansssssss
so guys, do you have PLUR????
if you don't, you'll live in a life where you're not deserve to have.

P-peace
we need peace, lotsa peace. nowadays, wars seems to overtaking this world. without peace, this world would be very much bolder and even more worse than now. peace yo..! see? even in church there's a particular part whereby people greet each other and and make a sign of peace by saying "peace be with you". we are in ONE MALAYSIA. peace is our main strength to build our ONE MALAYSIA. *chewahhhh*

L-love
uu..i love this part. i love 'love' so much. u must have been fall in love right? not just with your partner, but also with your friends, parents and the most is God. oh love is indeed wonderful. yeaa..i know it's a bit stupid for saying this but hey. i'm in love okaih? so what???? love everyone as you love others keyh. please2..don't bury hatred in you (if possible la). and3..keep your love one being LOVED. because love is the most crucial part in creating your relationship and to enhance feelings towards each other. love GOd too. without God, we ain't be here by now. and our parents too. respect them okaih. i know most of us are annoyed with our parents' extensive care towards us by limiting our social life and such. but believe me, they did this for good. they want us to be a good person. but we, as tenageers think otherwise. if you do something which might get you into being bombarded by your parents, just keep it shut okai.. sheshhhh~! haha.. and do it tapok2 la..

U-unity
yeahhh..together we stand as one. we live in community. be united with your neighbour ant stick together for unity can tight our bond with each other.

R-respect
each of us need little a bit of respect. erhh..a lot actually. i was used to this quote saying, "respect others if you want to be respected" i do believe in that. but alas, 'some' of them do not respect me. so why should i respect them? no use maa.. respect others who are older than you, younger than you, even prettier than you. haha.. RESPECT dude..

if no, go get it.. go3!

i need PLUR to catch up :)
so tataaa ^^
muaaahhhh~! :-*
lots of Xs and Os

a blah

2009-08-24T22:59:00.003+08:00

ahhh..what a good start today. i woke up by 8 a.m. and did some housechores. ouu2..i did my study too! biology to be precise. haha.. can't believe it right? yea2.. not much extravagant things had happened today. it's just a pretty ordinary day full with lame. haha.. my texting life???? ohh..what can i say. it's ultimately full of controversy and JOKES.

ohh yaa.. my datuk is here oredi. we picked him from kampong yesterday and brought him here for his medical check up.

-busymode-

yearppp..i am right now. facebooking, blogging, texting, chatting. all in one time..

can i get off now????? people need me in facebook right now. haha.. so tataaa..

so lyke, 2 months?????

2009-08-23T02:06:00.003+08:00

urhh..yeaa.. i've been ignoring my blog since late June and now it's August. 2 months i should say. haha.. well, sorry for that matter. you know the reasons i guess. time factor, busy and blah2. and lots of stuff were happening during those moments. there're lotsaaaaaaa..! oh..i mean it, really.

first and for most, i am finally being officially as 'doubled'. a yeay for that. and i'm strongly, superb, extremely happy! *exaggerating ohhh..my life being his girl is started on 28th July. finally. fuhhh..i was deeply relieved. muahhhhx~! leb u boy bery2 mucho. ehehe..:D i'm taken baby, i'm taken by apyeeeee.. haha.. want me to repeat again? oo yeaa.. I"M TAKEN BY APYE ON 28 JULY 09.. haha.. sorry for that annoying repetition.

and..and..and, i've got more to tell you. but that's enough la horh. the event of me being taken is so much important as i've to make it as my top highlight thingy.

btw, bloggieeee! i'm back, right at cha..! chakkk!

now is 2.30 a.m. kinda late ouu. i better tuck myself to bed right now or else, i'll be bombarded by my mom tomorrow for waking up late. so papaiii :)

ouu2, b4 that..

i mish my apye :(

2009-06-11T23:40:00.002+08:00

time passes.
even when it seems impossible.
even when each tick of the second hand aches like the pulse of blood behind a bruise.
it passes unevenly,
in strange lurches and dragging lulls,
but pass it does.
even for me..

disappointment

2009-06-10T23:47:00.004+08:00

my apparent description :
dull, gloomy, depressed, hopeless, despair, empty, solemn, away,

reason :
i'm not sure of both of our status and does he loves me? ohh my. i don't know!!!

conclusion :
i'm totally down to Earth!!!!!

my life is worthless without texting. with who? well, of course la GK. haizzz..Gk a.k.a 'gerek kontrak' doesn't mean anything to me. it's just a deal, a deal okayh?! and i want to get rid of the word 'kontrak'. seems to me it'll never happen. i want a real relationship, not like a black and white relationship which is clearly written on a paper, something like an agreement. blablabla.. i try not to contact or call him. let he himself seek for me first. hurmm..i just feel not good. solemnity fills me throughout the entire day. it's a bad day, very the bad day. so right now i'm listening to trance. well, i need much of beat to heat me up. no more mourning fayde. wake up from your mourn!

speaking of trance, i'm one of Dj Tiesto biggest fan. ahaa..i'm just exaggerating. have you heard of him? gosh, you should and it's a must. really.

dj tiesto is in da house..

enough said
i'm extremely not okayh right now
*$#%#^#&^*$#@
urghhhhh..wtf! cibaiii.. kimakkk..lancau aa..
get off u sucker!

lots of imysm

2009-06-10T11:00:00.005+08:00

imysm imysm imysm imysm iimysm mysm imysm
imysm imysm imysm imysm imysm imysm imysm
imysm imysm imysm imysm imysm imysm imysm
imysm imysm imysm imysm imysm imysm imysm
imysm imysm imysm imysm imysm imysm imysm
imysm imysm imysm imysm imysm imysm imysm
imysm imysm imysm imysm imysm imysm imysm
imysm imysm imysm imysm imysm imysm imysm
imysm imysm imysm imysm imysm imysm imysm

can't wait huh?

2009-06-09T00:27:00.003+08:00

today is soooooo not realllllllll..
OMG!! do i behave insanely today????
ouu dear.. i better keep my head back to its own normal track..

boom boom pow! chaakkk*

ahaaa~!
i just keep thinking of what's going to happen tomorrow. wee~! :D i'm happyhappyhappyhappyhappyhappyhappyhappy that i'm going to hang out with GK tomorow, err..perhaps i should say this morning. wait, let me see. how many times i've typed the word 'happy'? aaa..8? well, it should be more than that. yeaa2.. oohh God, this is soooo wonderful!

"fayde!!! stop dreaming about your date!" this virtual dialogue echoed in my head, NON STOP.

and again, i fail to cut my hair for some shit reason. first, the Kancil has a tiny problem. so my mom won't allow my sis to drive it. second, i'm literally not in a good mood of cutting my hair. why ekk? wtf! urghhh..i'm pretty dying for a new hair!! new hair! repeat, new hair!!! haha.. i love repeating stuff a lot. it's been like a hell staying in this home. luckily, i'll be having fun tomorrow. so it will heals my fucking-hell-of staying-at-home wound.

could you imagine, you arguing with a person just for a small matter? like err..choosing which day to hang out. so yeahh.. i did, with GK. spending 2 hours for that small matters, i feel like apa kaa? mana2 laa. as long as i can meet him A.S.A.P. uuu..sempat merajuk gik ya. haha.. luckily..my 'merajuk' has contributed a success. he pleaded me like 'plzzz.." hehee.. terer x?

now i'm listening to remembering sunday by all time low. this song is sooooo nice for i could cry when i listen to it. uwaaaa! miss my GK!! :(

showing my love to GK. nahhhhhhh..

awww* i'm addicted to love. my oh my

fayde loves everyone..
especially GK and her besties..
emmmuahhhhx! :-*
love y'all..
xOxO

missin old moment being a kid

2009-06-08T07:54:00.007+08:00

i was supposed to make a hairdo yesterday, but fuck! the barber shop was closed. i told GK about that hairdo thingy and he was kinda suprised. Btw, he prefers my hair now then my hair short. uuu..lyke it! :)

roughly at about 2 pm, i went back to kampong. see what i've got :..

awww* cute ewh!

geng sepak takraw (+ anjing) haha :D

my big, goofy sis. ahaa~!

and me :)

ouu2..this one looks cute..
with a lil' love from Kinang and me

2009-06-06T12:09:00.002+08:00

pheuww*

finally i'm done with what i call it blog-maintenance-progress. kinda happy with that. hope you people like it

take note!

2009-06-03T22:05:00.001+08:00

sorieee guys..

my blog is
~under maintenance~

2009-06-03T21:51:00.003+08:00

I know it's too late for me to say this but ermmm..

slAmAt onU gAwai

yeaa..this Gawai was just ok. but still, my Gawai 09 got its best event which is leypakkkkk! haha.. that's right! at first, it was totally boring. none of my friends came to my house. kinda sad though :( then the night came. me, elex, tony, kigen, aina and others went ngabang to 3 houses. ok la ya nak? by 12 midnight we went back to my grandpa's house. huhh..leypak2 sampe palak heng. luckily i've got stomach ache. so no alcoholic drink for me that night. babii elex nok ntam. haha.. he forced me to drink lots of glasses of carbonated drinks. 10 glasses i assume.

we ended up at 5.30 am. well, beysaa laaaa..

fayde leb her cuzzies sO muchOs!
emmuahhhx! :-*

killin' experiment report

2009-05-30T21:00:00.003+08:00

Aim :
To investigate how Apye feels when Fayde is dead.

Problem statement :
How to kill Fayde?

Hypothesis :
If Fayde is dead, Apye will be lonely.

Materials and apparatus :
Keranda, kubur, kapak, pedang, tali, kain, Fayde...

Procedure :
1) Take Fayde to the dark place.
2) Hit her till she fainted.
3) Rape her!
4) Tied her on the rope.
5) Cut her throat.
6) After she dies, clean the blood and all things that might be the evidence.
7) Burry her.
8) Pray for her.

Collected data :
Apye is lonely..
Apye is caught by the police..
Apye got criminal record..
Apye will be the rOckstar....:p (lam mimpi jk)

Conclusion :
The hypothesis is accepted. If Fayde is dead, apye will be lonely and half dead. Therefore Apye should not kill Fayde...

such an eveready

2009-05-03T00:41:00.006+08:00

guyssss..
you know what..
i've met Everard just now at St. Joseph's Church
and then i was like..OMG!
huuu..feeling a bit goosebumps at that time.
yeahhh2..so it was

at first, i didn't even noticed his existence there. as i turned my head around heading towards the altar, my eyes captured on one particular figure who is familiar to me. no blink, i stared at him for assurance. it's HIM! dangg~! "what i'm going to do?", the nervous side of me kept on asking me. "stay calm okayh. He won't hurt you.", another voice in my head. you see, i never talk to him before, just messaging and friendstering. that's it, not more than that. then, here comes the climax..... i was supposed to take the Holy Communion. and yet, everard helped a Sister who apparently gave the Holy Communion to our right-wing of the church. i was there, at the right-wing of the church. and so yeahh, i did took the Holy Communion. but damn! i did no stare at him. eye contact??? it's way too possible. i kept my head down as i passed through him. somehow, i felt like he was staring at me, just a 'hello' staring. oo man, why i've done such a stupid thing? i knew i should say hello to him, or at least a smile will do. haizzz..what can i do. i felt like a flood of adrenaline run through my capillaries as i walked in front of him. pheuwww! it was a close one. felt regretful, i was pissed off over myself. i swear, i swear i'll never do that againnnnn.. plzz..get off you 'nervous'! btw, he's an altar boy in the church. wow! truly a devout boy i guess..haha.

before that, i went to a bookshop with my sister just to buy a few exercise books literally for this coming mid-year exam. after almost half an hour picking, dropping and choosing the best one, i finally felt so "fuhhh" (exaggerating) haha..

look what i've bought

i must get ready for the exam. exam brings thrill out of hell..is it?? haha.. exam2.. why you have to exist hah???? bio, chem, sej and physics. see? lot of things that i haven't fully recovered yet. still, pray for me okaii?

study smart and enjoy you life being a student :) cheese!!

survey.

2009-05-03T00:00:00.005+08:00

What would you do if you found out the person you like was in a relationship?
: pa ku lalek nak..haha
Do you think you're wasting your time on the person you like?
: ouu..nO3.. i rily adore my charming CHUCK BASS! awww*
What do you get complimented on the most?
: my 'pretty face'. ahaa~!
Name three people you tell everything to?
: apye, apye n apye..again? huhh.
The person you have feelings for shows up at your house, what do you do?
: shuhhhh2~!
Do you have a reason to smile right now?
: not at all
Could you go the rest of your life without drinking alcohol?
: CANNOT! that's my drug okayh?
How are you feeling?
: felt sorry for the China's kids
How do you feel about big trucks?
: whoahhhh..rugged2
Does anything hurt on your body right now?
: yeapp..scratch my back plzz? haha
Do you want someone to call you right now?
: nahhhh..not a fon-calls type anymore
Is something wrong right now?
: probably..
Are you mad at someone?
: sak ati ada laaa
Do you plan on sleeping in tomorrow?
: nopeee..depends lorh. addmaths gik lom siap towk
Can you honestly say you listen to all kinds of music?
: me? oh no, thanks. i've no interest in reggae.
Would you prefer a thunderstorm or for it to be snowing?
: lot of snow baby! purely white and i damn love it!
Have you ever fought over the opposite sex?
: alwaysss..ya apye ya gago gilak. heyhh
Are you good at math?
: used to be. but now, huh! boh jak
Do you usually listen to your parents?
: nope2.. haha..me so jaik
Do you have any siblings? Do you get along?
: yeaa..sometimes only
Do you cry a lot?
: hohoo..this is tough one
Do you act more silly or serious?
: silly! cupid to be precise
Are you good at keeping secrets?
: no3.. plz don't u pepel ever2 tell me ur secrets. haha
Would you like to fall in love?
: i wud love to..but not for now :)
Do you have any gay/bi/lesbian friends?
: LOTSA! haha..
What are you doing tomorrow?
: goin back to skul. a bit yeay
Do you have any shirts with funny sayings on them?
: nope..i'd luv to have one..hee :D
Are your bedroom walls a different color than white?
: opkoz. it's baby blueeeee.. calm colour
What day of the week is it?
: saturday.
Have you ever ridden first class on an airplane?
: i wish i cud..
What's your name without the letters a, b, c, x, y, or z?
: fidelisi meris. geez..i need my 'a' back
How often do you wear a belt?
: depends on my trousers. if it's a slack, i surely wear it
Have you ever had seagulls attack you at the beach?
: never. oo God, keep me away from those attack. huuu
Do you always find it cute when boys call you babe/baby?
: i was like, dhuhh~ haha.. sumtimes, i feel a bit younger than wat i shud now. haha
Has a boy ever asked your best friend about you?
: dunno. ask dem laa.. why u ask me? heyhh
Do you like your life right now?
: 50/50.. seriously, i dun wanna hate my life
Who was the last person you talked to last night before bed?
: toto? i slept by 4 am. how amazing..haha!
Do you have friends you can tell stuff to and you're sure they won't tell?
: yeahhh.. :) n i luve dem. emuaahhh
Are you in a good mood right now?
: kinda :)
Do you take compliments well?
: yeahh..it's compulsory. haha!
what bed did you sleep in last night?
: mom's one. hee..:D
What was the last thing you cried about?
: my fawk bday :( uishhh..
Will you be in bed within twenty minutes?
: heyy..da nite is still young. we njoy beybeh! haha
What is the last non-alcoholic beverage you had?
: chrysanthemum tea. (i hope i spell it rite)
Is there anyone you trust who you shouldn't?
: ntahhh..
Have you ever gotten the butterflies?
: wattt????
What are you doing this summer?
: study3..for spm's sake. oo goodness
What are you doing next summer?
: dunno. a vacay wud be nice
In the last month have you wanted to punch someone's face in?
: mok paluk burit org ada laa.haha! apye! be readyyy

a sudden wake

2009-05-02T00:29:00.007+08:00

i was like, feeling asleep just now. roughly about 9.40 p.m. wow! what an early for me. haha..yeaa2, but i did put my alarm on 10 pm. how come i didn't realized the maximum volume produced by my phone????? plus with the techno song as my alarm tone?????? no sound, no light, i was woken up by my worst-to-be nightmare. eeee..scary2. by the way, Enol have texted me just now. she informed me the website for our stupid add maths project work. thanks to miss pretty Enol for her very much appreciated information.

take note people ::::
http://www.one-school.net/

surf this website and then click on the 'homework help' tab. the rest is all yours.

jeng..jeng..jengggggg
"fayde has been activated"

haha..i'm all fresh! no tucking to bed for the moment. well, let me see. i've 5 tabs to be surfed. friendster, facebook, this blog, addmaths and you tube. ahaa~! i'm not loba okayh. yet, i've opened another tab for photobucket. wuu..i'm getting more and more into photobucket. all those pictures are very cool! i ran through a few colour splash pics and look what i've found..

gosh..this look pretty! i know most of you probably think that this pic is not that cool. but hey, i love when the colourful things combine with black and white stuff. the combination will blend with such a unique. quite nice you know. obviously, i'm a colourful lover. want to see more? nahhh..

under my umbrella..ella, ella..eyy, eyy

want go to the kitchen for some titbits. tOodles~! :)

alone

2009-05-01T11:24:00.003+08:00

yeaa..that's right. I'm SUPER BORED right now. *sigh* Still have a lot of things to do. wait2, let me put them to list.

A list of blablabla things that need to be done :::

1) Add maths project work 09'
2) tons of homework, add maths especially. integration!
3) STUDY for this coming mid-year exam
4) 'kemas umah'
5) reload :) hee..
6) friendstering and facebooking. ym also
7) eat!! haha
8) guard my lovely crib
9) updating my blog (like i'm doing it now)

see???? that's what i need to do today, perhaps. haha.. well, it depends on my whacky brain. mindset baby, mindset!

alone at home, i feel free right now. yeay! my mom, my big sis n my lil' bro went to kampong this morning just for 'suka2'. my big bro n her wife have their date right now at Pandan's beach. heyhh~! ada hati mok g dating..haha! LOL..

gantung week

2009-04-09T20:32:00.006+08:00

i'm not okayhh! with flu and a bit of headache, i'm below the normal level. *sigh* plus, a lot of bad things have happened this week. fuck things, i would say.

that monday, i went to SMK Bau for 'bola baling' tournament. wait guys, what you people call 'bola baling' in english? haha.. i'm lack of english power. pity me. huu.. first, we battled with SMK Santubong and WE WON! yeayy! can't recall the scores anyway. but kolej went out sucked with Gapor. but hey, Gapor was indeed a good team. with Emma and her gang, they throwed us 4-0. sucks isn't it? well at least, we'd tried our best. we'd made our way to quarter final which fell on tuesday, specifically the next day. but our journey stopped when we lost 2-0 with STAR. fuyohhhh! with Haziqah's mother as their coach, they have made a good game. so we called it a day. terribly tired, i fell asleep the whole way back to school. by the way, for the second day we use the kementot bus. haha! still don't get it? i use that term for verbing a tiny bus, approximately 10-18 seats.

BAD NEWS! Laput and Flo are going to be expelled from asrama soon enough. it's just a matter of unfair. WHY?????? there are a lot more. Apye, Libau, Melvin and others whom i don't know are hanging from school for two weeks. STUPIDITY. small matters only, why the teachers gave heavy punishment? Apye for instance. he just went out to choice supermall illegally and was caught by a teacher. taptuptaptup..oredi knak gantung. stupid kan? flo and laput, i'm going too miss you both. come to school soon ait? :) awww*

enough said.. nevertheless, i love my friends so much. hope you guys are ok.

ahaa~! dh basik blog gue ^^

2009-03-09T00:20:00.003+08:00

hohooo..
it has been like more then 2 months since my last post. ouu dear..
my blog is basik oredi!
ahahaha.. well, sorie denk. i've been so busy all this while with homeworks and stuff. and i can't even keep myself stiff. *sigh*.. perhaps during this coming holliday i can come out with a few things that i would like to share with you guys. not forget to mention, i've a great time being form 5's student. ahaa~! i'm not trying to be sarcastic, but hell yeaaa. it's true! freakos are all here, with ME! :)

-enuf said-
but there's a lot more to tell ya. wait ait? muahhhx!! xoxo

2009-01-30T00:13:00.002+08:00

i don't feel like blogging for now. still sad for things that have happened nowadays.. hurmm~

btw, fuck u lawa pepel. cipai li jak. oo..ku x brik nya testi or im nya, alu nya x ngkah aku lam featured frens gik. u fuck man!! chibaii aa.. cud u juz think, mala muka aku jk nok brik kau testi lok. eee..tis tyme, kau pn turn lahorh. pa kez tok aa???? u sux! boys sux!! fuck u!! go to hell wif bitch!! wanna some shits???! owritee.. i'm gonna give u sum..

i'm home baby! ^^

2009-01-23T21:25:00.004+08:00

holliday has arrived once again and i'm home! for sure! i bet i'm not going to enjoy every single moment of my holliday. you see, too much homeworks bug me now. urghhhh!! bio, addmath, physics.. waaaa!!! help me!!! :((

fawk off HOMEWORKS~!!

school2.. sigh

2009-01-17T22:44:00.004+08:00

OMG!!

my life is totally a mess. being as a form 5's student, i always burn the midnight oil doing homeworks and studying. hee~ :D it's true maa. well, being placed with others whom we call us 'elite people', i started to take my study seriously. mwahahha :)) can't believe it! a lot of fuck things has happened these past two weeks, but yet i'm on top of the world ^^ i'll try my best to be a good storyteller ait? :)

1st week of school :(
have you seen the smiley above? that was how i looked like when i first step my foot at the front gate of kolej. waaaaa!! :(( it was terrible. plus, a lot of homework. pfff~ i've to work harder this year. SPM!! wait for me!! i've met so many new faces at kolej. fuck!! everything has changed. my classmates would never be the same as last year. of course, most of us remain in Amethyst. but some of our 'shining stars' are placed in other classes. gbon!! she's in Topaz. faiz n apiz in Sapphire. grec in Diamond. dhohh~ what a great separation. amethyst was totally boring at the 1st place. luckily, i still got june next to me n mumu with laput n rho right in front of me. yeshhhh!! i sit at the back row. starts from left : june, me:), wan and an. i'm gonna make Amethyst as best as possible. mwahahahah :)) wan2, he always supply us with food. 'slai olai' especially. haha..feyde is SO LUCKY! ouu2, Mdm Sally is our 'wali kelas'. waaaaaa.. cerewet punya ckgu. shhh~ we've got new Sej teacher. urghhh..addmath is sux! uncle phang call me fidel. i was like, hehh?? mana2 laa.. feyde or fidel, both can. but fidel is nicer. :) thanx uncle Phang for naming me that.. uncle phang rawk!! huahua.. i love his lessons. energetic, full of passion and dedicated, uncle phang throws his full energy teaching us with wonderful topics especially wave part. haha...love his 'heloooo' part..

2nd week of school :)
fuhh.. this week is better then last week. Amethyst is getting ROCKER each day. haha.. so do I.
this week's highlights :::

wan's new hair....

wahahaha.. he was caught by ckgu jaya and pop! his hair was cut. silvy also (can't pronounce his name well). oops..

blogger!!

2009-01-17T22:40:00.001+08:00

blogger!!!

mish u so DAMN much!!
emmuahhhhh :*

its too late..

2009-01-02T23:45:00.001+08:00

well, i know it's too late for me to say this..

HAPPY NEW YEAR!! ^^ 2009 has come...

i was kinda busy this past few days...
waaaaaa..but i've a great new years eve
i'm gonna tell ya soon.
wait2 :)

2009 :)

2009-01-02T22:50:00.002+08:00

my grandpa's funeral

2008-12-29T23:53:00.002+08:00

argggg
i'm DAMN LAZY NOW
gonna make my post short

1. went to kampong to attend my grandpa's funeral. May he rest in peace with our Lord.
2. but i never did, i've to take care of my brother. so sad :( but still, he's my grandpa after all
3. my 'annoying cousins were there too, 'sundal' to be exact. haha..mark my word guys.
4. we sent dadi to airport. he's got a bintulu flight to catch up by 6.30 pm.
5. then we went to mjc. i bought my schools uniform and a pair of socks. i'm gonna use PINNAFORE! kurong for friday only :)
6. i ate burger. beef hotdog cheese for 2.50 bucks. quite a reasonable price.

short isn't it? this post seems like a short note that we used to write it down on a piece of paper.. kinda lazy now. well, i'm looking forward for new year, 2009 beybeh!!

to all the PMR candidates this year..

GOOD LUCK!! :)

i hope u guys get a good result. to those who's result is not good enough, heyy..u still got spm to catch up. boo yaa! ^^

my xmas is great!! ^^

2008-12-28T11:46:00.010+08:00

yearppp
too great for me! :) started from 25th until 27 i kept myself enjoyed the wonderful moment of christmas. :D way too great! even i can't put them into words. haha.. i'll try my best to tell you what has happened during these past few days...

25th

our xmas tree ^^

early in the morning, me and my family went to kampong. we had our mass there. dhohh..kinda bored. the 'bak smayang' kept on talking nonsense like blablablaaaa. luckily i've got seyon around. she was with me during the mass. then, we headed to graveyard. we put the candles around the graves of our late grandma, my late sis and late jojo. we won't forget them who have died. right after that, we went home. i was busy, TOO BUSY with kitchen's stuff. well, i've give them a helping hand. *applause* haha.. fuhhh.. so tired you know. i did my work without nonstop. continously until all the dishes were cooked. i think by 1.30 then i rested myself. relaxing with a cup of orange in my hand. roughly about 10 minutes later, seyon approached me with her serious face. i was like..hehh????

"oo pok, cdak dedeq dtg ngabang. g layan nun" seyon yelled at me.

eeeeeee.. they spoiled my rest time. but i was trying my best to give them the best service i could. yet, i did it! :) dedeq went with kenon and two more unknown guys. heyy..i treated them very nice, as nice as a wife treat her husband. chewahhh..:)) quite a while then, tony came with his cousins.

"welcome2 :) make yourself at home" haha..i said that to them.

i served them with coke. waaaaa..fuck tony!! he said my popia 'hangus. ahhaha..cipai punya org. we had a lot of fun. talking, laughing, chit chatting and SHITTING ourselves!! ahahah..:D somehow, this whack situation reminded me of jenner. what the heck she's doing in serian? i wished she was here with us. of course that would be more exciting. to add up, i miss her like CRAZY!! ouu2..but we're not lesbian okayh? i didn't went to jenner's house for this christmas. of course, she was away. plus, i didn't stay for a night at kampong. waaaaa.. i've tried my best to stay kampong. i've pleaded with my dad.

"plz dadi, plzzzzz"..

:) babai gave me full support. he asked me to stay. even seyon, puna n san too asked me to stay for a night. but alas, i can't stay. I CAN'T!! wtf!! pfftt~~ but my dad won't change his mind. once he put his words, he never gonna take it back. so yeaa, i was off to kuching :( i don't even talk to my dad. i was PISSED OFF.

nenes...
she's my cuzzie. back then, she was kinda a bit like a man (tomboy). yea.. since she's got atuong as her BF, sh's changed a lot especially her outfits and the way she talk. a lot differences, way better then before. to my suprise, she wore a white dress during the christmas. wow! she looked gorgeous! i admit that she's pretty. well, sapa pn kazen. ahakz! like i told before, i didn't even get a chance to go 'ngabang'..

26th
i was in kuching. in the afternoon, i went to flo's house for a visit. dolly was there too, celebrating christmas with flo. flo's mom treated me well. the food was yummy. *5 star* then, her mom brought me to her 'kaban belayan's house. haha..ask the ibanese if you wanna know the meaning. kinda bored a bit. ou yea. i went to a house. that house was unique, superbly!. there was a jamming studio in it! wowww!! i was thrilled! i never saw such house like that. even the house got a small stage. amplifiers everywhere, the speakers and boofer are huge, two guitars are on display and a drum set. what a nice set. 4 houses and fuhhh.. i was tired. in the evening, me and my family went to our babai's house at Semaba. ou dear, another visiting.. as usual, we ate, talked, and gossiped about things that is happening around. shhh~ *secreto* TIRED!! i was tired. 5 houses you see. dhohh..

27th
my favourite day of christmas 2008 ever! ^_^
too bad, i was awaken by my dad's harsh voice. ishh..too early. waaaa..we then headed ourselves to our mini palm estate in kampong. my dad asked me to cut the grass. yesh..i did what he asked me to do. den ernie texted me. she asked me whether i could join a ride with her to grec's house. unfortunately, i can't. instead of that, i asked she to come to my kampong. and so she was, with mep as her loyal driver. haha..drebar xda gaji :)) they came to my house exactly right after i arrived from the palm field. i didn't took a bath. i treated them with my dull appearances, using unwanted shirts n long tracksuit (baju k g ladang). dhohh~ i guess i do look like a farmer at that time. ee..so small. sorie nie, sorie mep. haha..you guys are truly small p CUTE. haha..great compliment for both of you. ernie! you still look the same. but a bit ladies.. haha..mep also. :) he's so mature. wow! kinda suprised to see him. it's a long time ago since the last time i met them.

CAM-WHORING!!
yeahhhh..that's what i did right after i took a shower. me and my cuzzies posed with our *hot gesture. haha..supermodel! i took lotsa pix. but i just upload less then a quarter of the pictures in friendster. check out my friendster if u want to see the pix. hohoo..i luv cam-whoring. even i look ugly or retard in some pix, i don't care. i don't want to fake my pix just because i wanna look pretty in it. NO2!! i'm not one of a kind. but i did edit some of the pix to make it look mre stylish. haha..i love all pix. it doesn't matter, as long as i'm happy when i took those pix. i think all pix are pretty :) even the people inside the pix are also pretty. THINK POSITIVELY..

combination of our pix. but there are more..

we also went to Dirom's wedding dinner at night. so much people went there. yohhhh..guess who was performed there? it was ACID RAIN N HIS GANG! wow! haha..gonna be a wonderful night :) i met my 'sumuk glamer' too. haha..look at my grandma. she's old but she still feel young. glamorous and fame. yea..she brought he friends and clothe herself with sexy tops and slacks. wow! gonna give her a shot. she hug me, for sure :) aww* mish my grandma in the olden days.

thats all i could say for now. fuhh..i've got more to say but sorry. i'm so tired of typing these crap things.

cheese cake for the 1st time

2008-12-24T00:00:00.005+08:00

wwahhhhhh
finally, i've done with the popia and the cakes. guess what. i've made my own cheese cake for the first time ever in my entire whole life!! waaaa..very proud. plus sense of boasting really hunting me. haha :D well, i've made them all and i'm proud of myself. thanks to sangek too. without her, there won't be any wonderful cakes to be made. first, we made 'waterfront cake'. it was ok. not good, not bad. but it was too sweet. too much sugar i guess. nahhhh..learn from the mistakes :)

wowwww
late afternoon, which was about 5.00 pm, i did some gardening job. gardening????? haha..believe it! i know! it sounds strange to me, but yes. i was gardening. kinda fun actually. hoping to be a great gardener when i'm getting older. ahakz! okayh2, let me straight up to the point. actually, all of us including mami did our "general cleaning" for our dad's arrival. houu..my dad is such a great complainer. yearrpp..complainer. keep on complaining about the cleanliness, tidiness, and blablabla. plz shut up ur mouth dad!! it keeps me annoyed. dhuhh~ and i hate this kind of situation, FOR SURE. i'll be dead if i won't clean up everything inside the house. finally, my dad arrived. with his serious face, it makes me feel like a dumb. i'm totally scared with him. exactly! urggggg..i'm shiveringgggggg. and yet, he kept on moving his mouth, talking nonsense about the house, specifically the cleanliness of the house. dhoh! wanna close my ear! i wish i could heard nothing about that. plz dad, stop complaining

ouu dear, it's kinda spooky rite now. got heavy rains and 'kilat' here. uuuu..scary me. i better get off right now. tomorrow will be a very buzy day. huhhhh..sux!

MERRY CHRISTMAS!!

popia??? again? huhh

2008-12-23T01:02:00.003+08:00

ouu dear
its been more den 3 days i've been dealing with popia and i'm still not done with it. arggggg!! towards achieving my goal, i must finish all the popia by tomorrow. err..today maybe?

last sunday, me n my family went for a shopping. wee~ :D ma fav! shops2! shopping for shoes n shirts. luckily i've found them :) fuhh..i felt relieved. but i'm craving for heels, sneakers n bags now. waaaa..

dhohh..
i've been kinda buzy this week. hooking myself with popia n gonna bake some cakes tomorrow, this will be a very busy week. nevertheless, i'm still in the mood for xmas.

GG??????
OMG!! i've been watching GG up to episode 13. and gosh! my chuck bass is gone! :( ou dear, where's my hottie? i'm dying like hell! waaaaaa

i've made some popia

2008-12-20T03:02:00.003+08:00

OMG!!

it's 3 a.m in the mornink and me??? i'm still awake. nahhh..boboy too. he's up there with the pc and me down here with laptop. BOTH ON9!

eee..tony!!!! such a great teaser. waaaaa. cibai lu!! haha.. indeed. just wait and see tony. i'm gonna blow your chunks soon. very2 soon. that's your christmas presents! ahaha.. ouu dear..such a crappy thing. xpa2 tony, xpa.. ada budi ada balas, ada hari blh balas. eee..WTF!

today, hardworking around was really worth the time. i did a lot job. plus, i made my own popia. haha..so boastful. yea..but i did it. it was great because i've put much effort on those popia and i'm proud of myself. ou yeaa!! even it's just a small thing, but i can't keep myself from boasting around. haha :)) btw, the popia i've made is for this coming christmas

speaking of christmas, i;m gonna be very busy by next week. my cuzen gonna come here and we're going to bake some cakes. dhohhh..must be very limited-time week. still, that doesn't kill my christmas spirit :)

X-MAS!! :D

carolling tyme :D

2008-12-19T02:35:00.003+08:00

it's carolling time!! a yeayy for that. hohoo..our house was the first house to be carolled by the carollers. carollers???? ou yea. the 'kampong people' from all walks of life joined the carolling. including ME! :) *applause* but most of the carollers are childrensand young adults, teens for short. we did enjoyed ourselves. 2 songs for each house. being honoured as the first house for the carolling, i was kinda excited. OVER-EXCITED. and i was given a chance to pick the songs. very honourable. i chose 'when a child is born' and 'joy to the world'. i sang with all my heart. i was filled with spirits of christmas. oo geezz.. that moment was so wonderful. plus, carolling can cherish me n curing me from this moody feelings. and then, we went to another houses. fuhh..5 houses for today and stop! it's enough..

12.00 a.m

still waiting for my brother to come home. specifically, i'm waiting for my roasted chicken. arrrr..my stomach has made it's own 'grgrgrr' song, attentions for food. right after that, my brother arrived. i ate the chicken. geezz...it was yummy! :)

dhohhhh
some of the puppies fell into the drain. and i've to pick them up. hehh~~ i've got 8 puppies in this house. 8 puppies????? can't belive it???? see it yourself.. haha..plus her mother and 'keteuui', that would be 10 dogs in my house now. woowww!! a large number.

on9..on9..on9.. i did that until now. oo feyde! look at the time now! sleep..feyde sleep

GG is gettin more interesting. waaaa

2008-12-18T01:34:00.003+08:00

ouu yeaa.. i just read through the GG's blog and guess what????? chuck bass's father is dead. aww* pity for my charming prince. Bart bass was died at a car accident. too bad, no one's fault anyway. beyond my expectations, chuck bass get himself away from the upper east side. away to nowhere. devastating blair was just so true. finally, the moment i've been waiting is happened. blair has said those 3 words (u guys know the words right?). aww* sweet baby! but the conditions at that time was horrible. chuck didn't even care about those 3 words that blair have just said. ouu..too bad for blair. on the other hand, lily and rufus are back! aww** sweeter the ever! lily will never love any other man except her one and only true love, ms. Rufus.

awwww** can't wait to watch them. btw, i've done the downloads up to episode 12. whoahhh.. i've been way left behind! i've gonna catch up this series soon. the sooner, the better.

ouu2. one more thing. 1 funeral, 1 love plus 1 wedding. eleanor, blair's mom was married with the little short man, ..... (uh..can't remember his name though) but still, blair doesn't happy with (a bit)well, the waldorf family has finally completed. and another duo to be mentioned soon. aaron and serena. nahhhh.not interesting in them ANYMORE. for me, serena was totally a blow! still don't get it???? hmm..aaron??? eeuww* why should i like him. after all, he's just and ordinary, simple, and not even on my man list. and how come serena could fall for aaron? oo GG! answer my Q plz.. serena was totally a hottie in season 1 but now in season 2, she was way from that *hotie* title. dhuhh~~

haha :)) that's all i could tell about GG.

HELPP!!!!

2008-12-18T00:18:00.004+08:00

geezzzz

i need help. since yesterday i was kept on browsing for some cool layouts for my own blog. but the fuck thing was i can't even paste the code. ou dear.. could some help me with please???? at least try to teach me on the download-copy-paste things. yea..my head is so messed up with those very unimportant things. dhuhh~~ i'm so fucking shit right now. urghhhh!!!

HELPP!!!!!!

things went wrong today. seems like I've got some girls problems. well, you know what i mean right? mm..maybe i should take a deep rest after this. after all, I've been the midnight bug since the holiday started. kinda retire for a day. on9? nahhhh.. i'm not in the mood for this whole chit chatting things. oo blogger. i wish i could have a cool layout for myself. hopefully i'm gonna get my problems settled in any time (regarding about the blog's layout).

carolling! wee~~ :D
tomorrow or exactly today will be the first day of carolling at our kampong. and i'm gonna join the carolling. kampong! just wait for my arrival ait? :)

toto! i'm proud to be your sis

2008-12-17T01:02:00.005+08:00

time pass 1 a.m already but i haven't sleep at all. uu..can't get my eyes off. i think i've got imsomnia disease. doesn't know about it? just search it in internet and you will get what you want. rainy3.. raining for the whole day (i guess), all the clothes haven't dried yet. n em??? OMG!! i did an extravagant job today. i cleaned my own window pan! haha..what a miracle. hmm..i did planned myself for gardening job but this day kept on dulling itself this whole day.

ouuu2..i did on9 with some people. err.. *some people* haha.. secreto de amor! but the damn shit thing was tony underestimating my ability to bake. waaaa..he said that i'm gonna get my face burnt in any time as the cakes are also burnt. claken punya budak! haha.. dhohh..

haha..no forget to mention, this early morning toto put something little inside his nose. waaa..he showed me where the thing was and then he handed me a 'playar' (i don't know how to say that in english). haha..i know what he want. he wanted me to get rid of the tiny things by pulling it out using 'playar'. haha..so funny la you toto. me n boboy kept on laughing out very louddddddddd
ouu dear..my stomach started to tickle me. haha..toto2. i'm so DAMN LUCKY to have you as my little bro.

kampong2 :)

2008-12-08T23:03:00.004+08:00

i've got not much to say about today. me and my family went to kampong. mami went to 'toyak', doing her gardening stuff and dadi visited his palm oil farm. i did arranged all the things inside our 'rumah pondok'. fuhh..quite bored. then at late evening, we went back to Kch. dadi has a bus to catch up at 9 pm. buhbye dadi :) see ya soon!

who steal our cd player????

2008-12-07T23:49:00.002+08:00

well, yeaa. dat's it. my happy day turns out to be the UNHAPPY DAY or specifically, a FUCKING DAY.

urgggg!! i was happy when me and my sister went to Srwk ICT Expo or some people called it 'pc fair'. my sis drove the car and parked right in front of MAS's building. whoaaa! my eyes turned from small to big. i was amazed by the stuff which were on sale. laptops, cameras, hard drives, webcam n so much other cool gadgets! yea. i was a bit yippie..:) 'sakai' local people call it..hehe the expo was full with humans from all walks of life. even grannies went there too. ouu..so up-to-date our grannies nowadays. i did bought a pendrive and urm..an earphone. well, i've lost my pendrive n my old dearie earphones were all lost to nowhere..haha i just brought a couple of RM. not too much i could say. a few bucks only. if can, i want to take the whole things which were on sale. haha..loba me! on the other hand, mi sis was loooking for an affordable laptop. i preferred Dell because our laptop is Dell and it's good. yea. my sis insisted on Acer. but nahh..i hate Acer. its wi-fi signal is too low. an hours later, we went back to the car. we were planning on going for TJ right after that. as soon as we reached our car, we were suprised to see that!!

our car window had broke by some shits and they stole our cd player!

"what the hell is this? who did this to us?" i was asking for an explanation. but my sis also couldn't answer that question.

we made a quick move. we phoned boboy. but he didn't answer the call. then we phoned dady.

"i think u guys shoud go home now." lucky for us, he didn't mad at all. fuhhh..one problem settled. we went back to home. my sis drove slowly so as to prevent any broken glasses from flying and will eventually hit our eyes. euww!! i hope not. then boboy came and took us to a police station to report the case. and we have to go to IPD centre which was at Simpang 3. me, my sis n demos inside the car while boboy riding his own bike. my sis were interviewed by the officers. blablabla.. soon after that, one of the officer took some pictures of the car.

fuhhhh.. but the best part was the cd player was very old. and not so good. haha..gik rasa pencurik ya! cd player nok tua bangka ya pn mok curik jwak ka? eee..such a desperation.

reciting prayers for our late Jojo

2008-12-06T22:44:00.003+08:00

While waiting for dadi to arrive from Bintulu, i took a shower and got myself ready for the prayer which will be held soon, very2 soon. Soon after that, mama Ann approached herself in front of our door. She was about to join us going for kampong. And then, dadi arrived with his firends. Beyond my expectations, he brought 2 air conds n a new monitor. wee~~! Soon i'm gonna have my own air cond in my own room.I helped him carrying those things into our house. ouu..such a good daughter i am! after that, we took our dinner together. ouu, one more thing was he also brought some bat meat (daging klawar). eeuwwww!! 5 packets full with their flesh! OMG! how come humans can eat those species? luckily i didn't puke at all. fuhhh..

then, we're off to kampong. kring kringgg. the phone suddenly rang out very loud. i was shocked! it was mama ann's phone. the call was from the kampong. they urged us to go back kampong as fast as possible. to my suprise, Elex gave me a text while i was on the way. he was on his way to kampong too, same as me. yeayy..i'm gonna meet Elex soon! houu, it has been a long time since our last met at St Jo's church. how i mish him so much. lebiu my cuzzie! :)

roughly at 7.05 pm, we arrived at kampong. seyon! finally i met u. :) yeaa..i've been missing all my cuzens like crazy!
"hey dude! how's your life, bitch?" that was what i said to seyon. we used to that 'nudity' conversation long ago until now. well, not so much people went to our house. we had the prayer. but hectic! every 10 minutes, sounds of ringtones was flying and tup! landed right here at our ears. it was quite annoyed. could they just off their phones or at least change it to silence mode? those easy things also cannot do aa? urrr..pathetic!

and then, here it is.
we were served with a lot of food. chicken curry, oyuok kicap (haha) n sayor kampong. way cool! :) i ate a lot really even though i've taken my dinner before. after that, i helped cleaning those plates and cups. ouu, it was time for me to go out and umm..loiter with Elex. yeaa..me and seyon peeped out from the house like a bunch of thieves. scary you know. eee.. the road was too dark. no lamp post. no one was there. besides, toto kept on following me wherever i go. luckily, i managed to get myself disapppeared from his view.

"woii! Elex! kau ka ya?" i screamed at him, trying to get his attention. coz he was shaking his head like a DJ, got a headphone on his head n his phone right on his hand. when i saw him from quite a short distance, my mind was saying that he got his hair a new haircut. and yesh! my guess was right! and as we walked towards him, he was looking at us. then, we were having our chats. chit chatting about our life. he did tell me about his sister. OMG! why some people have to do that stupid thing just because of love??? (convert2 pn hal bha) Fuck dem people! and geezzz!!! Elex has changed a lot. from top to toe! the way he talked was really kept me on suprise. but he is better now then before. i luv the new Elex. i'm proud to be your cuzens! :)

then a BIG SPOILER called me. goshh. it was my sis. uhhh. she informed me that we are about to go back Kch soon by now. so i rushed back. but before that, i said buhbye to him. i really want to hug him right at that moment but nahh. the place was too open. dun get yourselves wrong aa. i mean a hug-to-hug cuzens. not the other kind of hug..haha

AE86 for real?????

2008-12-05T23:09:00.001+08:00

i went to batu 3 just now, with mami, isak and toto. just went there to buy 'pau' and have some drinks. right after i stepped out from the car, toto was excited n yelled..

"mami!! keta boom2 initial d mami. nun nya. tengok mami, tengok!" whilst pointing out where da car was.

all three of us took a sudden action looking for the car. and.

OMG!!

the first thing came out from my mouth when i saw a real AE86 right in front of me. not only that. when compared to the same car in Initial D movie, gezz..totally 100% same! i can't believe it!!!

"is this a dream or what????" i murmured to myself

"pinch me!!" i monologued to myself.

i kept on blinking my eyes wilst i ran fast towards da car. hohoo..this is real!! i was happy, flattering beyond the edge. haha..yearpp. then mami suddenly interfered me, the exciting me..:)

"that is the car that i've always seen at batu kawa. i told u guys already that this car is really exist but u don't believe it." mami implied.

yeaa2.. you're right mami. hey, i haven't met any other girls who loves to see car. is it only me, the only girls who loves car??? but for sure, i'm a Initial D's DIE HARD FAN! i kept on watching that movie over and over again. and geezz..i heart edison chen! he's too cool for that. he's my man! haha.. then we took some drinks. i ordered a cup of warm barley. after that we went home. soon as we reached home, toto insisted on going for mjc right at that moment. pfff~~ we were off to mjc. again???? urggh.. we went to everrise to buy cookies n snacks for home use :) we reached home roughly at 10 pm. now i'm waiting for demos, my cuzen to arrived..

"toto!! tdOe gik nun!!"

HSM totally give me a damn fuck thing

2008-12-04T15:41:00.001+08:00

as usual (urhh..hate doing da same routine all over again), i woke up. quite early as 7.30 am. early???? haha.. den i did some housework. hang clothes, did some sweeping n blablabla. toto was busily himself searching for his ultraman disc inside his own disc collection. well, sort of. suddenly a HSM disc was right on his hand.

"sepok, toto tengok cita HSM..:)"

he winked at me, asking for compassion..haha. den i played da disc. OMG! i can't believe me myself watched da movie too! me, boboy n toto. ouh..such a monkey trio. haha..yearpp. born in monkey years, all 3 of us sat der lyke a numb concentrating ourselves for da movie. 1st boby, followed up by me n den toto. great combination though..haha. it was totally cool watching dat movie again. i do lurve da part when gabriella yelled 'wow'. i guess she said 'waauuuwww'..haha boboy did laughed at dat part. it was funny u noe seeing G's blurry face. but geez, da movie made me sat still in front of tv until 11 am. thanx to HSM for getting my housework UNDONE! yea..i hadn't cook at all. n i hadn't give toto a bath. den blablabla. afternoon passed quickly. i did took a nap n ate a little. not so much lyke i used to..haha weii, i'm trying to keep my stomach back to what it used to be b4. ngee~~ :D

in a nutshell, i'm so damn lazy today. well, for today only. perhaps by tomorrow, i'll recover from da lazy disease dat is affecting me NOW.

grounded thing is really pissin' me off

2008-12-02T02:30:00.001+08:00

now is 1 dec. n i rily can't wait for xmas..=) wee~ i'm so excited n flattered all over da day. but today, i suppose to hang out wif bhubhu for a movie. but my mom won't let me go out. i dunno why. my mom was lyke 'kuno' person. i juz want to go out n have some time with him. not more then that! but my mom would never understand that. nahhhh..she said that it's more useful to babysit my bro then hanging out for nothing. for nothing????? OMG! hate that though. i asked my dad n he said..

"ask ur mom laa. why u have to ask me?"

n my mom said NO! geezzz. arghhhh..i've been grounded!!!

bhubhu..im sorie. lain kali kita kuar gik keyh :)

Joseph Cardijn's Camp (3rd day)

2008-11-19T22:35:00.000+08:00

will be updated soon =) rily2 soon

Joseph Cardijn's Camp (1st day)

2008-11-18T15:40:00.000+08:00

we were supposed to wait for buses at St Joseph's car park. it was unexpected for me to see flo, phyl n her cuzie, sica, join da camp. den, i met debot too. bot2, u still kontot laa..ahaha.. joking2 aa bot. boh amik ati. ehehe den we started our journey to kpg selampit. before dat we had a prayer to The Most High for our safety during the journey.

our bus. me wearing da dark green shirt.

da buses were full. even us da collegian didn't have any spaces to sit. saved by da commitee, da boys which sat at da back had to give their seats to us. and dey have to sit on da floor. ahaha..:DD we girlz are special maa. we conquered seats at da back. afta a long while since our last met, we were bound to tell every story that we had. alaa2 gossip bha.. we were crazy at da back der!!! only us who made da noise. everyone who was sitting at da front was all in silence. ouh yeah..we also had a rosary prayer. gbon n dolley lead da prayer too..ahaha.. such a great effort u guys have thrown for da rosary prayer. afta more den 1 hour sitting and heating our butts, we finally reached kpg selampit. fuhhh..damn hot!! erm..i mean da wheather.

den we cleaned da chapel n arranged da chairs outside da chapel. fuhh..quite tiring. plus da unwanted condition of wheather made me feel awful. geezzzzzz.. we were also divided into groups, 10 groups for total. i was in group B. we had to introduce ourselves right in front of people by groups.

alban, fred, scoot, fgeen, almanda, michelle, adel n ME..=)

nathalia, our beautipul emcee informed us da collegian to put our stuff at da nearest house which was right in front of da chapel. n which to be our foster family's house. den we had our lunch, our first lunch at kpg selampit. whoaa!! the food were nice, the kampong people cooked the dishes for us. well, a round of applause for dat..=) but i wasn't in a good mood for eat. i took a lot of food but i didn't ate dem all. i juz ate partially a quarter of the food. hmm..quite wasty. den we da collegian rushed ourselves to put our stuff at da house which was mentioned early. ouh yeahh..i saw a cute little boy in dat house. he is such a cutie!!! 'boboy' people call he. he got cute face wif his cheeks 'tembam'..

after dat, we had a mass which was lead by Father Simon Poh i think. can't remember his name though. n after da mass, we had our ice breaking. we had to write down our nickname on a piece of paper n da commitees distributed da papers among us randomly. when i opened da paper, i saw a name 'alain' written on da paper. i had to find him!! luckily i noe him oredi. well, alain is cecen's brother. den we had our first sharing by da seminarians from St Peter's College Kch. dey practically showed us a drama to conclude da sharing. hmm..quite an interesting sharing. we also had our praise and worship. den da emcees made an announcement. "to all da collegians, i'm sorie that we have to remove u guys from the house. u will move to the other house at the riverbank. sOrie for the incovenience." OMG!!! i hate dat. i hate to leave da baby. he's so damn cute!! da emcess also informed us about our latest house n we were separated into goups. luckily me, gbon, sica n flo were in da same group.

a van was provided to pick and send us to our foster family's house. ouh..as we arrived der, i was happy to see the house has a shop at the downstair. i can easily go n buy some foodstuff der if i'm hungry. as we entered into the house, all of us were shocked to see the house was beautiful!!! whoaaaa..almost lyke 5 stars hotel. goshh..i never been to dat kind of house before. da house was fully refurbished. beautiful tiles, nice arrangement n guess wat??? da house is triple storey. meaning dat the house has 3 levels. we didn't care of those things for dat moment as we were rushing ourselves getting a shower as the next event will start soon.

we sang a few songs. it was a happy moment. i was happy as i can serve Jesus n praised Him wif all my heart.. chewaahhh..haha.. den we had our taize prayer. according to kak lucy, taize is a community prayer which the people gather in one place n sang a few songs. slow songs, sad songs.. i wasn't able to fully concentrate wif the prayer. but i did cried! yeshhh..i did. in fact, i was touched wif the prayer..

after the taize, we went home. boys were stayed at the hall which is next to the chapel while gurlz were stayed at their respectives foster family's house. hmm..tired but enjoyable though..:))

pede can't wait foe diz comin' KYCS camp

2008-11-16T22:41:00.000+08:00

dat's true.. da camp starts by tomorrow. n i can't wait for it. i juz wish dat da camp would be da most wonderful camp of all camps that i've ever been. hmm..i oredi packed some of my stuff. not forgetting my cameras too..=) sleep baby, little fede has to sleep early..dadaaa

pretty word for me

2008-11-15T16:52:00.000+08:00

nothing odd happen today. as usual, i woke up n did all da house stuff. started from sweeping, moping, n tidying. tired u noe.

i was having a chat wif bungan. well, he's one of my frens. poor bungan, he was some kind of boredom disease. same goes to me.. we were talking about movies, romance movies..haha.. i never thought i'm interested with those movies, especially da romeo n juliet. hmm..den sumthing happened. well, it does happen frequently. i mistype da word 'romeo' to be 'romoe' n guess wat. bungan laughed at me..=( is it funny??? yes for bungan. in fact, i laughed about dat too. but not only dat. i was expected to type da word 'jelez' but it turns out to be 'kelez'.haizzzz..wat's wrong wif me???????? on da other hand, bungan kept on bullying me. 'romeo', he called me..ahakz! so funny la you.. well, it's nice to be his frens. i'm proud of u, bungan..:))

somehow, i lurve dat word. 'romoe', hmm..pretty nice on me..ehehe

thanx to bungan for naming me dat..

new simcard, same number..

2008-11-14T14:13:00.000+08:00

'today i'm gonna make my new simcards! yeay!!" dat was da first think on my mind when i woke up. yearp.. diz is da day i've been waiting for. when we were about to make a move, my sista couldn't find her car key.

"wat da hell????" i yelled out loud.

i helped my sista looked out for da key but da search turned out to be zero. i fon my mom, ask her whether da key is wif her. n yeshh..it was wif her! gosh!! dat means we have to use bus. i hate to use bus. it's filthy, smell lyke skanks n hate to wait for it. first we sent our little bro to nursery by foot. well, it's not dat far. 5 minutes from our house i guess. den da bus arrived as soon as we reached da bus stop. fuhh..luckily we dun have to wait for a couple of minutes for a bus. den we headed straight to digi centre. n u noe wat, da operator who was in charge of me is very generous n kind. and friendly too..=) he told me some of good features of digi n promoted me a new plan called 'prepaid i lyke'. i'm using dat plan now. use dat plan, it's rily gud. trust me..=) and da besh part was da new simcard is FREE!! hohoo..how i lurve dg so much. muahxx!! lebiu dg!! =)

den me n my sis went to satok just for a walk. sale yuuu!!! but unfortunately i dun bring enuff money for shopping. i gulped seeing those t-shirts, trousers n jackets are on sale. i was interested wif one of da google jacket. really nice to me. i want to have it. arghh!! voir also got nice statement t-shirts but nahhh.. look at da price baby! expensive, rily expensive.. i went to da shoe corner. wow!!! i heart heels! those are pretty cool. i tried a few heels, hoping to be da owner of da heels..ahaha.. da handbags are also on sale. 70%, get it for now!! ahaha.. den, we took our lunch at SCR. well, i was da one who foot da bill. i ordered ginger chicken rice n teh c special. those are my feverets, especially teh c special. my sis ordered wheat grass n steamed chicken rice. yummy..my stomach got filled n off we went home by van.