hey..what's up..

it has been two days since my syg left Kuching. so hard to bear the news that he's now away..awayyyyyyyyy to Mukah. sob2.. i miss him. dang! i miss him badly :'( i cry a lot. whenever i feel lonely, my tears will running itself on my cheek spontaneously. i'm not asking for a cry. well, it's just did. now he's fine there. still in the hotel with his dad. seems to syg's view, the mukah town isn't bad at all. still have KFC and such. hehee.. kfc jwak dcrik syg ya. a BIGBIGBIG relief for me :) yeah..finally my syg is now there safe and sound. starts from tomorrow he'll begin a freshly new life being a poli student. chaiyok syg! i know you can do well :) hate long-distance relationship. SUPER HATE! huhuuuu.. i miss every single thing about syg. his ass, his jokes, his pouting lips..:'( can't stand this feeling. STOP2! uhh!

♥ 17 june 2010 ♥

lessons from life, by 90 year-old Regina Brett

1. Life isn’t fair, but it’s still good.
2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.
3. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.
4. Your job won’t take care of you when you are sick. Your friends and parents will. Stay in touch!
5. Pay off your credit cards every month.
6. You don’t have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.
7. Cry with someone. It’s more healing than crying alone.
8. It’s OK to get angry with God. He can take it.
9. Save for retirement starting with your first paycheck.
10. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.
11. Make peace with your past so it won’t screw up the present.
12. It’s OK to let your children see you cry.
13. Don’t compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.
14. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn’t be in it.
15. Everything can change in the blink of an eye. But don’t worry; God never blinks.
16. Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.
17. Get rid of anything that isn’t useful, beautiful or joyful.
18. Whatever doesn’t kill you really does make you stronger.
19. It’s never too late to have a happy childhood. But the second one is up to you and no one else.
20. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don’t take no for an answer.
21. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie. Don’t save it for a special occasion. Today is special.
22. Over-prepare, then go with the flow.
23. Be eccentric now. Don’t wait for old age to wear purple.
24. The most important sex organ is the brain.
25. No one is in charge of your happiness but you.
26. Frame every so-called disaster with these words ‘In five years, will this matter?’
27. Always choose life.
28. Forgive everyone everything.
29. What other people think of you is none of your business.
30. Time heals almost everything. Give time time.
31. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.
32. Don’t take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
33. Believe in miracles.
34. God loves you because of who God is, not because of anything you did or didn’t do.
35. Don’t audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.
36. Growing old beats the alternative — dying young.
37. Your children get only one childhood.
38. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.
39. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.
40. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else’s, we’d grab ours back.
41. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.
42. The best is yet to come.
43. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.
44. Yield.
45. Life isn’t tied with a bow, but it’s still a gift.

2 more days to go before syg's departure. sob2.. :(( he's having dinner at neyt's house now. blit gk aju! mk video kol tok. huhuuuu..

HOTHOTHOT. so hot man! this scorching heat keeps me sweating all day. sam asked me to go for a swim but cey..main2 jak duhal. but gosh. i'm dying for a bath now. i mean, a bath in a pool or whatsoever. not in a shower of course. baan gong's waterfall would be nice :) or at my kampong's river? nahhh.. my body need a cold..cold water to be splashed onto me. oh God..

my bro is craving for a burger. i'm gonna make it two, another one for me :)
OUT.

is listening to sarawak.fm, 88.90.
Liars Among Friends live
perey jak keja ku tok..
hahahahah!!
can't stop perey-ing

soon yahhhh! UiTM baby :)

is back :)

fuckness

i loikeeeeee my new skin =)

aaa..today is full of fuckness, boredness, damness and (everything that ends with 'ness'). boredness and damness? haha.. lantak ajak la. guys..i hate medical check up. really. SUPER hate it. why? the x-ray just messing with me. i've got nausea right after i entered the x-ray room. bad2 nausea. oh fuck off! and another shit thing was i had to strip off my shirt and bra. the x-ray boy gave me BIG white shirt to put on. XXXXL in size and it's white okaih? like uu-i-can-see-ur-nipples-from-here. shit! the shirt has to be tied at the back. myyy..i'm awful in this kind of thingy. well, this was my first time experience. don't even try to blame me for my dumb act. haha.. x-ray gave me a fucking damn though. i promise not go for an x-ray anymore. ENOUGH. sorry for i cursed a lot. it's just that i hate x-ray so much. fuck it!

my printed image skeletons. funny.

actually i went to the hospital this very early morning. out of my expectation, i met my babai there. ou2..babai is a calling for grandfather in bidayuh..

me:: babai..what makes you up to here?
babai:: i don't feel well. my chest is in pain since last night.
me:: goshhh..why don't you go here last night?
babai:: there wasn't anyone who wants to send me. another harap the other. bad2. huhuu..
me::it's okay. i'll keep myself to you now babai =)

check2..my medical check up appointment was on the afternoon. luckily i was there to help babai. so yeah..i drove his wheel chair to room 5, room 9 and back to room 5. babai, you're so damn heavy. even the wheel chair was a bit out of control. haha.. tup3..it was done. babai was sent back to kampung. my uncle drove the car.

i went back to my mom's kampung for a while. look2 =)




kebin cute! rawr~! haha.. my anak buah lerrrr..

enough for today. pretty tired now. i'm going back to kampung tomorrow morning. back on sunday. so blog..don't miss my post ya. -_^

ahh..i'm done with skype. i laughed like 'hihihiii' watching syg's funny face and of course his pouting lips. how malnourished i am now =) but damn syg hate eenie meenie. damn! he hate my fav song? aaa..shit you. haha.. gotta go now my deary blog. have to wake up early for my medical check up.
nyte peeps!

white creature

wanna know something? TEBOOL a.k.a BULAT is sitting at the back of my lappy now. don't have any idea who he/she/it is????? ouuu..i bet you know..


awwww..!!! isn't it adorable? ♥ awh! so very the geramness. arrr!
anyway, gotta go. i have a date with my man in skpye. video call baby! yeah!

i'm watching Ghost Lab now. scary though but nahhh..why would i scare? they won't tickling my toe tonight. haha..

i now have eenie meenie on my phone =)

rusty english

did i use the same word all over again in my previous post???? like 'hoping', 'make' and blah3. aye! i'm dumbed! my English is getting dumber! oh tidakkkkk!

♥ 09.06.2010

today is a MOVIE DAY! =) i went movie-ing with my bro, hoping to watch Shrek at 12 pm but it turned out to be =( shrek will be played at 3 pm and i don't wanna spend for more than 3 hours waiting for the showtime. so we watched Marmaduke instead. comment? ouh..it's a great movie. with cute dogs playing around, talking as if they are humans, peeing everywhere, falling in love. oh my..it's so CUTE! everything is CUTE.

you guys have to see this movie, like seriously.

then i went to meet syg with her mom and apiz, his younger brother. so nice to see her mom. we chat a lot. talk blablabla.. syg was there, busy picking his stuff for his poli-wannabe life. huhu.. boxers, trousers and such. so glad that i was there, helped him a bit in picking stuff. i spent only one hour plus with him and his family, but sure it was more than enough to make me smile the whole day =) i held his hand firmly. i ran my fingers beneath his hand. so gentle..smooth..and relaxing. a sign of me missing him badly. hopefully syg knows about it. huuuu.. i hate the fact that we will be hundreds of miles away from each other. he'll be up there in mukah and i stay here..for the sake of our study. fuck isn't it? oh God, can i skip this part? it makes me teary now :'(

aunty a.k.a mak apye, thanks a lot ya for buying my bro a small hot wheel toy car =) my bro was indeed pleased by the gift. sure he was on top of the world, owned a toy car that can change colour when being put into a refrigerator. 'sakai' people here called that. haha.. hope i can give her something one day. a food cooked by me perhaps? i don't know. i owe that woman a lot. she bought me an Elle sweater, foot my cake's bill, bought a toy car for my bro. i think it's time to pay her back. wait ya aunty =)

i met toman, mamat and a few girls surround them. might be their scandal i guess. haha.. met mozarrie and khai too. and GG!! i met her! my RnB gang! hahaha.. she was there with her man and psst2 about me. *sempat poret GG lok*

frankly, i'm sooooo pleased and overjoyed for today. ♥

love

read this..it's extremely crucial =)
............................................................................................................................................................

Let’s begin with a oh-so-creative question: What is that fickle, frivolous emotion we call Love?

According to dictionary.com, it represents “a profoundly tender, passionate affection”; to have “a strong liking for, to take great pleasure in”; and “to need or require, to benefit greatly from”. This pretty much sums it up then, doesn’t it? The whole, ‘What-Is-Love?’ deal. There you have it.

But the problem with that definition is it just doesn’t tell you about the bare necessities of Love. The little tiny things that are so easy to overlook but, most often, are the most necessary part of the mixture. Nor does it illustrate Love’s many faces — it says nothing about what Love looks like, feels like, tastes like, sounds like — all these details that are too awkward and raw to put in the given definition of Love are, alas, the very greatest clues we can gather to understanding the emotion.

Book definitions won’t give you the meaning of the fluffy feelings, the swooping of your stomach, the electric sparks between skins. It just doesn’t get put down in print, for whatever reason. Is it because no one can truly figure out what the feelings mean enough to write them down (assuming they have one specific description, that is)? I suppose that’s why romance novels exist. To tread carefully into the realm of Love’s rawness and delve into what it could possibly

Even more important than that, what this definition of Love lacks is what kinds of Love exist. The definition of Love should be put into definitive categories. Friendship, romantic, sibling, or simply just pure sexual desire (for that is a case of Love, isn’t it? It fits two of the three above definitions) — and all the other bullet points beneath Love’s ominous title. They are so complex, so intricate, that all the human mind can’t even begin to comprehend such convolution.

And with all these types of Love, how are you ever supposed to know which one you’re in? What exactly separates them into categories, versus just being one huge jumbled mess of bodies and emotions and misty mornings spent thinking about him? Where does each begin and where does each end? Or do they overlap, always and forever densely connected, a web of one Love interwoven closely with the next?

It’s not so hard to say, “I really like someone.” Not hard at all. Because every second of every day, we “really like” a lot of people. The problem of that statement is how misinterpreted it is. “Like” (a word meaning to hold some sort of fondness for) is so often blown wildly out of proportion and understood as “I’m madly in love with you, marry me now.” Sorry, Romeo, that’s not what Juliet was trying to say. She just thinks you’re an okay guy. Doesn’t that thought just break your heart? What a cruel misconception that is.

Fondness leads into romantic attraction sometimes, right? But if you just genuinely like someone — just like them — then how can they differentiate between those feelings and the fuzzy, gooey warmth of the zealous adoration that comes with Love?

And then, does simply liking someone every truly blend so neatly with falling in Love? Do you actually fall in love… or do you dive? Do you stick your big toe in for a tester, and then, after determining that it is the comfortable temperature, wade carefully, slowly into the shallow end? Or perhaps it all just starts to fade together, the ends blurring, until finally all you can deduce is that yes, you love her, and she’s all you can think about and all you want, and nothing — nothing

And once you’ve fallen in, is it possible to fall out? Or would it be more like crawling? Running? Quietly inching away, slipping past all the security cameras until you’re past the defenses and free and not caring about whoever you hurt in the process? And if you were to do all this just to get out of it, are you to assume that you never really were in Love at all?

Can you see the specific moment you fell in Love, like you can on a movie screen? Does it become apparent in one single instance? Somehow, I don’t think so: Love seems more like the type that would build slowly and then before you know it you’re already in, pushed under the surface, flailing your limbs trying to get out until you realize that it’s not so bad after all. Love, that is.

It’s scary, at first, being so vulnerable so suddenly. It’s confusing and hard to cope with, sometimes. But if Love is so frightening and so bewildering, then why bother with it? Why take the time out of your busy day to involve yourself with something that just boggles you?

It’s because — and they never mentioned this in the definition either — Love doesn’t just mean some sort of powerful attraction, some strong longing and affection. It’s more of a promise. It’s more of a trust thing. Not necessarily between you and another person, but trust between you and yourself. If you’re going to Love someone — if you’re going to commit your heart to any given person — you have to trust yourself enough to know that what you’re doing is right. There has to be some sort of internal confidence there. If there’s not, then Love is that useless pain, that torturous confusion that everyone complains about. But if there is some sort of personal faith, then it’s possible to see past the confusion and the haze and the blank stares and the throats lost for words and into something much, much better.

And it’s possible, I suppose, to take the given definition of Love and color over it until, finally, you have your own definition, and it’s a beautiful, wonderful thing.

Maybe the reason the dictionary definition of Love is so vague and leaves so many things out is because Love isn’t supposed to be understood. Maybe it just is, and we should just accept it for that. We can either take it or leave it, regardless of whatever kind it tosses our way. Maybe it gives us the choice. Maybe it doesn’t. I don’t know.

All I know is that Love is all just one big confusing, redundant statement over and over again. And if I said that it was all worth it in the end, then that would be redundant too. But redundancy doesn’t stop it from being the truth.

tumblr sux

haha.. stupid tumblr. hate to admit this but i've got a tumblr account. yeap! tumblr is just for those who love to post things such pics and quotes. nahhhh! why would you have your own tumblr if you use it to post stuff like that? there's no originality in it. keep on reblog and reblog and reblog. don't cha think that is an act of plagiarism? do blog guys. make it out of ur own. don't post pretty pics or whatsoever ONLY. do have a few writings too. write us what u have. so..so..soo pathetic isn't it? it's true that i post a few pics in this blog. but it's ONLY A FEW. not that much. not like some people in tumblr (sendiri tauk la). sorry if some of you 'terasa'. this my blog ba. i can post whatever opinion i have right?

i'm gonna delete my tumblr account. say toodles to tumblr =)

gai daaa

"I hate those couples on facebook that love to post things like 'i love him/her so much, you're my everything' as their status and like their EVERY status"

haha..so gai isn't it? luckily me and my syg are not that gai, posting status like that. what can i say more. it's euh!

When I say "I love you",
it's not because I want you or because I can't have you.
It has nothing to do with me.
I love what you are, what you do, how you try.
I've seen your kindness and your strength.
I've seen the best and the worst of you.
And I understand with perfect clarity what and who you are!

L.A.M.O.

hahahahah!! LAMO is the word for today. i'm actually kinda bored here. nothing to do (need to take a shower act. haha..) mls baaaaa.. so sad i couldn't make a hang out with my man tomorrow. the distinctive reason: i have to babysit my lil' bro. oh my! mom..enough of babysitting please. i really need a hang out now. so LAMO staying at home, doing the same thing everyday. gue stressss!! uhhh..wish my parent could understand that.

i've got my license already. can't wait to stick up some 'P' stickers on da car mirror. haha.. you know, there are few people who are soooooo exaggerating of getting a driving license. took pictures of yourself driving, upload in on facebook, then let people notice ur capability of driving. urh! stupid. got license pn mok kamboh wak. SAKAI. hahaha! for me, driving license is not everything. it's just a piece of card showing that you can drive legally. the uppermost thing is as long as you can pull the car to a halt, it's enough. thanks to syg btw for getting me bravely on the wheel. =)

I DRIVE FAST..really. buckle up and i'm ready to press the oil paddle. vroom2!!
haha..

GUY..read this.

#Don’t care if you have a boyfriend or girlfriend right now. I don’t care if you are a guy or a woman or Michael Jackson. Just read this, it will make a difference. If only everyone could see this and understand it.#


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When she stares at your mouth
Kiss her

When she pushes you or hits you like a dummie cause she thinks shes
stronger than you
Grab her and dont let go

When she starts cursing at you trying to act all tough
Kiss her and tell her you love her

When she’s quiet
Ask her whats wrong

When she ignores you
Give her your attention

When she pulls away
Pull her back

When you see her at her worst
Tell her she’s beautiful

When you see her start crying
Just hold her and don’t say a word

When you see her walking
Sneak up and hug her waist from behind

When she’s scared
Protect her

When she steals your favorite hoodie
Let her keep it and sleep with it for a night

When she teases you
Tease her back and make her laugh

When she doesn’t answer for a long time
reassure her that everything is okay

When she looks at you with doubt
Back yourself up

When she says that she loves you
she really does more than you can understand

When she grabs at your hands
Hold her’s and play with her fingers

When she bumps into you;
bump into her back and make her laugh

When she tells you a secret
keep it safe and untold

When she looks at you in your eyes
dont look away until she does

When she says it’s over
she still wants you to be hers

When she reposts this bulletin
she wants you to read it

- Stay on the phone with her even if she’s not saying anything

- When she’s mad hug her tight and don’t let go

- When she says she’s ok don’t believe it, talk with her because ten years later she’ll remember you

- Call her at 12:00am on her birthday to tell her you love her

-Treat her like she’s all that matters to you

- Stay up all night with her when she’s sick

- Watch her favorite movie with her or her favorite show even if you think it’s stupid

- Give her the world.

- Let her wear your clothes

-When she’s bored and sad, hang out with her

-Let her know she’s important.

- Don’t talk about other girls around her

- Kiss her in the pouring rain

- When she runs up to you crying, the first thing you say is:
“Whose ass am i kicking baby?”

hope syg read this too..